BPDFamily.com

Hi All, I need your advice for some of my situations. My uncontested divorce was final a year ago, two years separation. He has only every other weekend visitation. In return, I gave up stock and discount on CS.

Time to time, he wants to see kids once a week. Everytime I said no but tried to work with him one time last week but he insisted only time he wants. I said no and he is mad accusing me lots of things that I have a pattern excluding him from children. He also wrote I'd better record everything because he is building up a strong case for Child Alienation and Child neglect. Then he wants the kids one day next week again. Of course, same time he wants.

1.   Not having a separate bedroom for each kid (different sex), is it Child Neglect? What happens UxBPDh calls Child Service on me? I have two bedrooms with D9 and S8. They are well fed and cared, exceeding at school (above and GT).
2.   Should I answer his various emails of accusation or just simply saying to stick to the schedule? Would pls you check my draft?
3.   Is that going to be a problem sticking to the court schedule without flexibility? I have given him some extra summer vacations by his request/threats/harassment. I have given him extra times on his visitation schedule by his request or simply he couldn't make it. His pick up time is also not consistent.

This is the draft I wrote.
“Next week we will follow our visitation schedule. There is a custody agreement that we agreed, signed, and registered into the court. I am advised to abide the court visitation schedule by my lawyer and documenting everything. If you want to make changes, it needs to be done with a mediator or through lawyers.”

The lawyer I consulted asked me if I can work out mid day visitation without mediation. Nobody seems to know how BPD gets except here. I said no. Then he said to go to the mediation. I feel so unfair that why I spent 20 grands to come to the agreement if he can change like this. I feel like he is controlling me again if I have to invite him to all the activities kids do (school activities I do), ask him to watch kids when I can't (which he never does either) and communicate by his way to see the kids.

Is there an issue with the kids sharing a bedroom? Meaning,  is there harm because of this? Ideally,  it would be good to seperate them by puberty, but it is what it is.  You do what you can as effectively a single parent.  

As for your draft:


BIFF it and don't give him ammo.  You don't need to explain yourself.  There's a court order.  
Though it's natural to fall into the emotional stuff, as this is triggering, imagine Spock: logic,  no emotions.

Thank you!