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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: yadi04 on April 01, 2017, 03:17:58 PM



Title: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: yadi04 on April 01, 2017, 03:17:58 PM
I met with my therapist last week and she said that women with BPD are more likely to seek treatment in their 50s. She explains that as looks start to go and other effects of aging set in, they just aren't able to navigate the world the way they used to. Anyone else have any thoughts on this or had an experience with a BPD family member that gives this some truth?



Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: Naughty Nibbler on April 01, 2017, 10:36:07 PM
Another angle might be that around age 50, there can be some life changes occurring that bring on stress events:  empty nest (children on their own or married), aging parent either die or need a high level of care, etc.

Losing people in their life can trigger feelings of loss/abandonment.  There can, also, be some influence with hormonal changes.

Some women around that age might be running to a plastic surgeon and accumulating some debt.  Age 50 isn't what it used to be.



Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: Rock Chick on April 02, 2017, 03:34:10 AM
I wouldn't say they get better in their 50s. I think most do the exact opposite of getting well. They actually get worse. Now I am not saying every female with BPD gets worse. I'm sure there is a few that get well or better. My bf's mother has only gotten severely worse as she has gotten older... .teens to 20s to 30s to 40s and now 50s and the 50s have been the worse and things have really gotten worse with every passing month and year. As for females in 50s with BPD getting help in their 50s I would say this is possibly true. My bf's severely BPD etc mother has been going to a psychologist for almost a yr. But sadly the only reason she is going is because her doctor insisted and her son and I agree with the doctor. She has told us numerous times that she is only going cuz of her son or cuz she is forced to. Although nobody is forcing her to. Although her primary doctor said if my bf's mother didn't seek some kind of help since my bf's mother wouldn't listen to her about seeing a psychiatrist... .she wouldnt help her anymore at least when it comes to emotional mental issues and there effects on her body etc. Sorry hope that made since I'm awful with wording stuff today as I have a bad headache.


Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: Please help on April 02, 2017, 12:26:34 PM
I will try to answer your question in a roundabout way. BPD takes a huge emotional and physical toll on everyone (including the BPD person). By the 40's -50's, the stress simply catches up and these BPD's learn to "master the game" or retreat to a small group of people who they can easily manipulate.

  If you are involved with a BPD and are holding out hope of them "maturing out of this behavior', please get involved with a T to find out why you are involved. Read me very early posts. I wondered the same think 8 years ago trying to save a marriage.

Ex-wife is a BPD in full bloom as was her M. She still writes bad checks and has warrants. She has been arrested for bad checks as well.

Had I not left, I would be in and out of jail with her being blamed for it all.

 Both my parents and possibly Mat and Pat Gmothers are BPD as well. Well F may be more ASPD ( sociopath). Christ, I am sounding like Stuart Smalley here. Anyway, what little I know of my F in his mid 60's is he still has nothing but problems with relationships, lies about things and shows no interest in his grandkids. He sees himself as a victim.

  In closing, mental illness does not heal itself. I do not have hard research data. However, I do think many PD's die earlier.

Hope this helps !


Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: enlighten me on April 02, 2017, 12:30:45 PM
Something else that has been suggested is that women with BPD can change with the menopause. Hormones seem to have quite an effect with BPD so it makes sense that when the menopause happens there is a change in hormone production which could calm some of the behaviour. Not in every case though as it seems some get even worst post menopause.


Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: Stolen on April 02, 2017, 01:02:07 PM
xW now in her early 50's is still in full stride destroying lives all around her.  Seeing her mother in her 80s and having known her grandmother until her death at 95 leads me to believe that age has no correlation with "healing". 


Title: Re: Women With BPD likely to get well in their 50s?
Post by: Naughty Nibbler on April 02, 2017, 02:54:50 PM

Quote from: yadi04
I met with my therapist last week and she said that women with BPD are more likely to seek treatment in their 50s


There is a big difference between seeking treatment for BPD in their 50's versus recovering from BPD in their 50's.  At least when someone seeks treatment on their own, there is greater hope for them to improve, no matter the age.