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Title: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Octy on April 02, 2017, 07:17:15 PM If a pwBPD in treatment were to try to understand the point of view on the non in a particular r/s, how do you think that would be processed?
Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Idsrvt2 on April 02, 2017, 08:47:40 PM IMO that would take years before if they ever could relate ... .all they see our reactions to what and how they treat us as attacks... .they feel more deeply then most.
I'm not sure they can let go of the fear of abandonment to fully grasp we mean no harm and won't leave them Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Octy on April 02, 2017, 10:12:24 PM Understanding for a non attempting to stay seems like a teeter toter battle setting boundaries without peaking(emotionally) when they might do the exact same thing that was discussed as a choice not an oops over and over... .Showing your hurt could lead to confusion on their part. Sometimes, communication and commitment were only available from one side(nons).
Why did they want someone willing to try so hard only to drop proximity mines everywhere they go? Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Huh? on April 03, 2017, 01:12:50 AM You need empathy in order to relate... .I don't think they'd even be able to put the shoes on, let alone go for a walk. :)
Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: once removed on April 03, 2017, 11:12:02 AM i think it would look a lot like it does for both parties.
"we loved each other the best we could. we hurt each other. i take responsibility for that. at the end of the day, we were a bad match." Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Duped 1 on April 03, 2017, 12:05:40 PM In my situation that's not possible. No empathy and she would certainly never say she was responsible for any part of it.
Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Claycrusher on April 03, 2017, 10:40:22 PM In my situation, that would not be possible. In order for it to be possible, my BPD ex-wife would have suddenly develop an ordinary level of empathy for other people and develop some willingness to accept responsibility for her actions. Without clinical intervention, she is unlikely to do either of these things. She's also unlikely to seek clinical intervention.
Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: Sadly on April 04, 2017, 12:53:33 AM Nor mine, when I asked him if he had read up on BPD he replied " yes and all I see is you" says it all really!
Title: Re: A walk in our shoes. Post by: jambley on April 04, 2017, 01:26:04 AM As a senior nurse she had a few armchair evaluations of me being mentally ill, which was not nice. It really hurt me actually from someone I loved and cared about. But she never took responsibility once and her behaviour was so unacceptable. Ignorance is just ignorance
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