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What do say or think when your fiance says to you "when I'm not on my meds I'm like Norma Bates... .no really I am."

You say as your backing slowly towards the door, "Welp, I gotta go now.  Thanks for the full disclosure before I commit to a lifetime of misery (Kathy Bates) with you."

And by lifetime, I mean until the marriage envitably crashes and burns way before that.

People tell you EXACTLY who they are, you just gotta listen. She told you, up to you what you do with it.

Hi BPDlovesurvivor, and welcome to BPD Family   

My immediate thought is that your fiance has some insight into her behaviour. Next what meds is she taking and what are they being taken for? Is she using the lack of meds as an excuse/reason for bad behaviours? My ex used to blame lack of antidepressants for his terrible rages, e.g. he's screaming at me because he forgot to take it that day. Can you discuss with her how the Norma Bates behaviour affects you? Does she want to get help to stop acting this way, therapy perhaps?

I went back and read your first post and noticed it was posted on the improving board. Have you decided to leave or are you hoping to improve the relationship? It's likely that you'll receive different responses depending on which one.

What to do?  Say goodbye to crazy and run, don't walk, away from it, and don't look back.

I agree with the statements regarding a quick exit. That sounds like a warning. It also sounds l8ke a set up. That way when she does skip her meds you can't say you weren't informed. I notice you use the word fiance? I'm suspecting an exit would be difficult for you despite her telling you who she is. Keep in mind also that meds only go so far. Particularly with BPD and the traits are very treatment resistant.