BPDFamily.com

Hi all, ive been married to someone i now realise is BP for 10 years. SO has always said sibling has it and bought stop walking on eggshells. I read that book a few years ago and suddenly so much of my life made sense. The slightest issue causes a blow up which lasts for days and i am blamed/criticised for bringing our relationship here. This time is unprecedented and its lasted weeks. I am trying not to rise to the cold shoulder but calmly point out how i understand he hurts however im not the enemy. If i do SO walks away. My number is blocked so i cannot contact either.  I am in a difficult point of my life having lost a parent and i need support, instead my home life is sad and lonely.  Any ideas on how to turn round this juggernaut for the short term and, long term?

Unfortunately, I can't really add any advice for short term or long term resolution of the issue.

However, based on experiences with my BPD (non confirmed) wife I can only say that time really isn't on your side in cases like this.

Every day without contact is another day where he can justify his decision, reconfirm it and add to his list of reasons.  If he is discussing the situation with others it's highly likely that he is letting them know how he is right and you are wrong, etc.

Since he has blocked you from contact I can only suggest indirect methods of contact:
- pen and paper style communication (real letters)
- flower (or other type of gift) delivered with a note
to try to get him to open up again.

This will give you a chance to get your ideas down on paper and let him know that you are still thinking of him.

Good luck!

Yeah my SO is also unconfirmed but so many things hold true that gives comfort and hope, but also the sad realisation that this wont go away. I've used email but no idea whether it gets read or resonates if it is read. I'll carry on with this approach and reinforce the message calmly.