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I was in an online relationship with a woman across the country from me and we ended up getting married a year after we first met online. Right from day 1 of the honeymoon we experienced difficulties. She was extremely depressed, anxious and missed her job, and family back home. We spent the first 8 months on pins and needles and slept in different bedrooms. We have had so many fights and it always ends up being my fault. She rarely says sorry and rarely says thank you. She only does things that suit her agenda and isolates herself from everyone but me. She has no job 1.5yrs into marriage (she's 26yrs old) sits at home all day every day and has no friends and rarely opens up to spend any time with my family. We had a tolerable winter considering the first year was hell but there's so much I've bottled up emotionally that I need to rectify my concerns and seek healing to bring back life into our relationship. I have started counselling and she has repeatedly denied joining me because she says "she's fine" and it's me that needs to be counselled not her. It's frustrating because I'm a sensitive guy and want help but it just always feels like it's my problem and have to fix it on my own and she's never wrong. What do I do and how do I move forward from here?

Welcome C0nfused:  
I'm sorry you are having problems with your relationship.  You say she was from across the country from you and you got married a year after you met online.  How much time did you spend with face-to-face encounters, prior to marriage?
Leaving a job, moving away from family and friends and beginning a marriage can all individually be stressful events.  Collectively, they have a greater impact.

Did you and your wife talk about her seeking a new job, before you married?  Has she posted resumes online?  
It takes two to argue, so using some strategy can help you prevent or minimize arguing.  The lessons below could be helpful for you:

ARGUING - DON'T ENGAGE  (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107)
DON'T JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain) and avoid circular arguments  (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=118892.0;all)


You can't change your wife.  The only thing you have control over is yourself.  By changing the way you interact with your wife and the way you react to her, you can make things better for you.

It's good that you are getting counseling. Sometimes, when just one person changes the way they interact with another, the relationship can improve (even when the other person is the one that is emotionally immature)

One strategy that can be helpful is to DON'T INVALIDATE.  (https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation) your partner by words, expression or body language.  You can, also, choose to try some validation. You don't want to validate any facts that aren't valid.  When it comes to feelings, however, you don't have to agree with the feelings someone is having.  Validating someone's feelings is just about acknowledging their feelings, not about agreeing with them.

There are more links to lessons in the right hand margin and in the "Lessons" thread at the top of this message board.  Give some of the skills a try.  Continue to talk to your counselor on how to improve communication in your marriage, explore your values and life goals.  After giving things your best effort, you may have to make a decision on whether you want to stay in the marriage.  Hopefully, your counseling and your participation here can help you steer your marriage in a better direction.