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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: TommyBahama on April 14, 2017, 04:19:42 PM



Title: Should I just do this quickly?
Post by: TommyBahama on April 14, 2017, 04:19:42 PM
I know the divorce has to come one day and I wanted to start it a long time ago but I always put it off for many reasons.  My family likes her and I don't wan't to hurt them but I worry about her also.

Yesterday after almost a week of barely any talking to me she suddenly snaps back to normal when I picked up from work.  She wanted to talk to me and offer me candy and buy me special things from the store.  The only thing I know that happened yesterday was she went on one of her binge shopping trips with some co-workers.

These are the same ones she always tells me about how they are so bad and have a million different men coming to them at work.  She also took a trip with them to some areas that are not that safe (she is not from here).  She does not make wise decisions and had a friend rape her before when she went with him to some place he convinced her to go to (before we married).  I really knew something was wrong with her when I found out she became friends with him again after some time.  I saw a conversation where she mentioned it to him and he said he would do it again and she took it as a joke.

I am just getting tired of the roller coaster of not talking and then talking off and on, it makes me a worse person and not better because when she does that and hasn't spoken in weeks and then suddenly decides today I am just going to act like nothing happened and talk then usually by that point I don't feel like talking and it takes me time to warm up to her again (she always expects I should immediately be normal as soon as she starts talking).  I don't want to be responsible for any of her bad decisions either and it's not like she is any help to me, I pay all bills (I don't mind) but not when the person I am with doesn't show appreciation.

Should I just suffer the hurt and hurry up and get the papers sent to her and let her go back to her country?