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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: jinglebells1989 on April 16, 2017, 03:21:34 AM



Title: Strange calls, her opening my e-mails. etc.
Post by: jinglebells1989 on April 16, 2017, 03:21:34 AM
I've seen a few similar posts on here and wanted to get everyone's thoughts.

I'm 8 months out of this relationship with this woman who ended things by calling the police on my after she claimed I had been harassing and stalking her. This was after she coldly ended a year and a half relationship in the blink of an eye. I'm not going to go into her behavior in the relationship, but since it ended, a few months out (maybe 3-4 post breakup) I have been getting calls from numbers I don't recognize.

Now this doesn't happen too often, just every now and then but it's still enough for me to notice it at this point. A few weeks back I got two calls from two different numbers that were both the same as MY number with the last 4 digits changed. A few unknown numbers I've gotten calls from as well. For example, the day I was in court for the restraining order I got 5 back to back calls in a row from a private number.

I also have software on my gmail that shows me when people are opening the e-mails I sent them (This is something I picked up on in my career as I'm in sales and was introduced to this software that way, but since then have put it on my personal e-mail). I noticed that she opened my e-mails a few months ago (after 6-7 months NC) and the first call I got from the bizarre number that closely resembled my number came on the same day she was opening the e-mails.

Could all these calls be a coincidence or could it be her?


Title: Re: Strange calls, her opening my e-mails. etc.
Post by: stimpy on April 16, 2017, 01:37:03 PM
Hi Jinglebells,

it's impossible to say with certainty, but I can relate my own experience. After she discarded me I got a number of calls where the number withheld was witheld. Was it her. Yes, I think so, some were on Saturdays and Sundays which is not normally the time for commercial calls - which is the other main source of withheld number calls. A few months after the discard, they stopped.

For pwBPD, it can be a way to maintain an attachment with someone they are no longer seeing - without risking actually talking to you - because that direct contact might result in rejection (by you) or you challenging them on their behaviour or actions.





Title: Re: Strange calls, her opening my e-mails. etc.
Post by: kentavr3 on April 17, 2017, 03:09:48 PM
nobody knows if those calls exactly from. But, my question. Are you still feel that you are in relationship with this person. If not, why you so much worry about it?


Title: Re: Strange calls, her opening my e-mails. etc.
Post by: jinglebells1989 on April 17, 2017, 04:43:17 PM
nobody knows if those calls exactly from. But, my question. Are you still feel that you are in relationship with this person. If not, why you so much worry about it?

Same reason everyone else that has gone through this on this site does, the extreme cognitive dissonance of a person loving you extremely and then hating your intensely back to back in a very short amount of time.