BPDFamily.com

I'm struggling to handle my partners moods as well as take care of my worsening anxiety and look after the kids. Because of all the hurt he's caused me over the last 15 months I think I'm about done. When he dysregulates I just don't want to deal with the abuse anymore. And I honestly think that being in a relationship hinders his progress and if he got away from his triggers (me) then he'd have a better chance of getting better. But I'm just wondering how severe do you think my partners BPD is and what are the chances of him getting better while staying with me?
He deregulates at least twice a week, has hurt himself over 10 times using pills and cutting his wrist (not to intentionally kill himself), has run off to hurt himself over 70 times and always comes home after about 100 messages telling me all the ways I'm terrible and have caused it, has smashed and broken things around the house which has resulted in cops being called, and all this with a baby and 7 year old in the house. He's emotionally and verbally abusive about half the time and the other half he's mostly normal (still very snappy and negative and easily wound up). Is this extreme BPD? I just don't know how often these kinds of behaviours are meant to occur and if this is too much for one person to handle while trying to protect my children from it. From what I've read, twice a week seems extreme, and it lasts a few days at a time so I get a couple of good days a week. Thank you for your opinions.

I have a uBPD wife and she does not cut or throw things but I have dealt with BPD behavior twice a week on many occasions, I have even dealt with it more than twice a week on occasion.  Most instances last days, some last several weeks.  There are certain triggers she has which I notice make the incidents last much longer but the amount of times you experience it seems to be about the average to me.

Hey AndreaG64, Sorry to hear what you are going through.  A BPD r/s can be exhausting, because often we neglect self-care while care-taking the pwBPD.  What are you doing for yourself to recharge and regroup?  It's important, in my view, to recognize one's own limitations.  It seems like you may be close to reaching your limit.  The frequency of BPD episodes is, of course, variable.  In the case of my r/s, the episodes became became more prevalent as time went on, until it became unmanageable for me and I hit bottom.  Be careful about taking care of yourself and try to avoid following my example of crash landing.

LuckyJim

This sounds familiar.  I am so hurt and lost too.