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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Portent on April 17, 2017, 06:54:54 PM



Title: DBT for Us
Post by: Portent on April 17, 2017, 06:54:54 PM
I've of course read a lot about DBT from the standpoint of treating borderlines but I was wondering if anyone has any experience using it to treat us the victims of borderline abuse. I'm finding as I get back into the world that I have been very damaged in how I relate to others. I heard it said on this forum that its like you are cringing in anticipation of the strike. In many ways I dont know how to have a real relationship with another human being anymore. I dont know what is normal anymore. In my research I've done on DBT I've started to ask myself if this could really be one of the best things for me and the rest of us who have been broken apart by borderline abuse.

Does anyone have any experience using DBT to heal from the wounds and repair the damage to how we engage interpersonal relationships.


Title: Re: DBT for Us
Post by: Ahoy on April 17, 2017, 08:12:37 PM
A statistic thrown around here is that 52% of partners who enter into a relationship with a borderline may also be suffering from our own form of impairment/disorder.

Personally I don't know if the number is that high, BUT analysing why I stayed with my ex for as long as I did, I can happily say that a truly emotionally healthy person would have moved on from the relationship long before I did.

I don't know a great deal about DBT aside from the fact that it is great for people who underwent great trauma, which is basically the crux of BPD (aside from certain neurological differences). I think a lot of war veterans use it too.

I have suffered a lot of trauma as a result of this relationship. I'm a firm believer in trauma bonding and I think if you are having longstanding issues with social interaction after this relationship, maybe it's worth making enquiries to see if this is the right thing for you.

Perhaps some other senior members on here can offer more? Good luck =)


Title: Re: DBT for Us
Post by: kc sunshine on April 17, 2017, 10:50:25 PM
I'm in a DBT skills group and have really found it useful so far. It's broken up into three parts-- they are mindfulness (good for interrupting ruminating, getting in touch with your wise mind, and making more effective decisions), emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. I have a long way to go towards healing and detaching but I think the tools will be useful!


Title: Re: DBT for Us
Post by: once removed on April 18, 2017, 08:19:58 AM
A statistic thrown around here is that 52% of partners who enter into a relationship with a borderline may also be suffering from our own form of impairment/disorder.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=307926

Does anyone have any experience using DBT to heal from the wounds and repair the damage to how we engage interpersonal relationships.

we teach DBT skills here, like mindfulness and radical acceptance, among others. anyone can benefit from practicing DBT skills.

we also recommend a free online CBT program called the moodgym: https://bpdfamily.com/content/line-cognitive-therapy-program


Title: Re: DBT for Us
Post by: Portent on April 18, 2017, 12:12:40 PM
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=307926

we teach DBT skills here, like mindfulness and radical acceptance, among others. anyone can benefit from practicing DBT skills.

we also recommend a free online CBT program called the moodgym: https://bpdfamily.com/content/line-cognitive-therapy-program

Well I might try that but I have good insurance that I have already hit my deductible for the year so I was thinking more in person. Im basically paying 15% for the rest of the year now. And I'm finishing my 8 week mindfulness course this Thursday and I will of course continue my daily sits.