BPDFamily.com

 I've been struggling with this relationship for 3 years. I friend zoned him about 1.5 years ago when I confirmed he had been lying to me. Today I still talk to him however now I'm starting to think about the fact that on top of everything else he was suffering from impotence too. That's not a problem a woman my age wants to deal with in a relationship. He's a lot older then me. I'm angry at him for not being straight forward with me. He had ed medication but he told me his problem was due to stress. That was a lie. He had bought several sex toys that made his impotence irrelevant and it wasn't constant. The whole relationship was an error so I feel like I shouldn't care but we know that's not how emotions work.

Every time I try to take space he clings to me. I know it's not my responsibility to make him feel comfortable.

I want to tell him that I'm bothered by the fact he didn't disclose his impotence to me. He'll tell me I knew about it but the fact is I did not know the whole truth. This is how this guy operates. He hides behind his autism but that's not an excuse to me.

How is holding on to anger about an issue like this helping you in any way?

My ex-s replacement, who is btw a lot younger than my ex, is also impotent. Of course, my ex-s hasnt said this, she says that its working etc. But my replacements ex girlfriends have said this. It hasnt been some kind of jealous talk, but they have basically said that he cant get up just. Like he gets hard, but then gets soft quickly. He had always some explanations for that though. I think its brain issue or they have watched too much porn or whatever. My ex-s replacement is lot worse BPD/NPD than my ex is.

It's a new revelation for me. I'm not angry, but I am irritated. I am trying to let it go.

All I can say is on top of everything else , organic impotence? Like being married or all the other murky stuff in his life. Yeah, to be friends with him I have to be empathetic . I'm going to have to start setting some limits for myself.