BPDFamily.com

Hi ~

On the probably three occasions (out of thousands of texts) that I texted a question to my BPD gf and then did not immediately respond to her text back to me with an answer to my question, I "got in big trouble." Recently, I posed a question, she answered, and she followed that with "HELLO?" Her answer and the hello text had the same timestamp! Apparently, not immediately responding to her made her feel as if I was ignoring her. So, I've been very mindful and haven't done this since we talked about it.

Now ... .she is doing this to me *at least* once a day - she sends a question in a text message, I answer and then she doesn't reply to my answer. I don't know why she's doing this. Do you? Its quite obvious that she is now doing to me what she kinda raged at me about doing to her.  How do I respond? So far, I've said nothing. I'm wondering if this falls under the category of the BPD not having to follow the same rules they lay down for their SO. Should I address it? Does she know she's doing this? Her non response is not an issue for me.  If figure she got busy.  This is only a "thing" because it's something she and I just agreed I would not do to her.

Guidance would be great! Thanks.

Hi Caboose,

Texting seems to have created a whole new set of relationship issues 

That's a lot of pressure on you to be immediately available, at all times, no delay.

How long have you two been together?

What happens when you "get in big trouble"?

She is likely wanting to give you a taste of how it feels, a sign she is not skilled at managing her emotions (often the case with untreated BPD). It's sort of the same as silent treatment -- if she feels erased and invalidated, she will try to protect herself by treating you the way she feels treated, regardless of your intent.

LnL