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Title: She is playing my family and friends against me. Post by: AllNightLong on May 05, 2017, 05:56:34 AM Hi,
It's three weeks now since I moved out and she's been trying to use FOG against me in a lot of different ways. That i will not be able to see my children and so on and that i'm not welcome in my own house as long as i don't promise her to give her another chance and that ain't gonna happen. So now she started to turn my friends and family against me. It all started when i moved out and first told her that i wanted to divorce her. She put out a pic on instagram on herself and out two kids and a text about how much she hates me and turned it all to that i have cheated on her without saying soo. I did not respond to this in any way but needed to have some talks with some friends that i wish i didn't need to. In the same time she got in a fight with my whole family, mom,dad,brother, cousins you name it. Now she started to appologies to them telling them how hard it is that i won't come back home giving her a "second" chance since she now is changed and so on. In the same day she started this she sent me a long text that i shouldn't contact her, that i shouldn't come home and that she hates me. So my mom called and started to complain about how difficult the situation starting to get. So i sent her the text i got and now she understood what was going on. But how should i handle these things? I hope i know that the people meening the most for me knows what is going on or will ask me but it's tearing your a lot on your sanity. Please give me some feedback or advice. Thank you! Title: Re: She is playing my family and friends against me. Post by: Lucky Jim on May 05, 2017, 10:42:00 AM Hey AllNightLong, Why not be honest with your family and friends and let them know that your W is trying to twist your arm during a period of reevaluation of your r/s, and that you would appreciate it if they would not respond to her attempts at manipulation. I suggest you couch it in terms of something -- the separation -- that is good for both of you and that you need time apart to determine if there is anything to build on. Or something like that. Her public displays of anger/hostility on social media are likely to backfire and I suggest you decline to respond, as you have been doing. It's rough sledding, I know, but it leads to new growth, so hang in there.
LuckyJim Title: Re: She is playing my family and friends against me. Post by: Mutt on May 05, 2017, 12:07:50 PM Hi AllNightLong,
Excerpt Why not be honest with your family and friends and let them know that your W is trying to twist your arm during a period of reevaluation of your r/s, and that you would appreciate it if they would not respond to her attempts at manipulation. I agree with LuckyJim, you're not going to be able to control this through your W, there are only two things that you can control, your thoughts and feelings, you're not obligated with trying to fix this either, your W is trying to scare you, the less attention that you, your family and friends give to her, the sooner it goes away. I've been through this personally, I know it's tough, I'm sorry that you're going through this. Hang in there. |