BPDFamily.com

So I left my BPD wife 12 months ago to "decide whether I wanted to remain married or not". Moved out for 1 week then came back to try again. She promised to go to therapy, try to be more social, and appriciate me more.

I would say 5% improvement over the year. So 2 weeks ago I left again. Told her the marraige was over and moved out.

I visited the kids at "her" home, mostly when she wasn't here (I'd arrive and she'd leave), but after a few days she started staying and talking with me. I realised very soon that she was being VERY nice to me - talking nicely, not nit-picking, wearing nice clothes, thanking me for everything I did. She was still thinking we could get back together... .

And she did talk about it. But she told me all the reasons why *I* left: you can't handle responsibility, what you want is not appriopriate for a dad with kids, or for a 40yr old, you're emotionally closed, you never told me you were unhappy so we didn't get a chance to work on things. She asked if I would consider trying again. I asked what would be different if I came back and was told that *I* would need to start dating her again, woo her again, go to therapy... .There was ZERO acknowledgment on her part that she had anything to do with me leaving. In her eyes - this was all selfishly me.

That actually made things easier. If she had offered to change herself then I'd have to decide whether to believe her or not. But by putting it all on me... .THAT'S the reason I'm leaving... .

And that is why the term "Welcome to Oz has been coined." The delusion is always there.