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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Huat on May 12, 2017, 05:55:09 PM



Title: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: Huat on May 12, 2017, 05:55:09 PM
Frankly, I hate those "Hallmark" days.  All is fine if you live in a Norman Rockwell type of family.  So many of us don't and all those days tend to do is accentuate the dysfunction and hurt that can surround us.  It has been many years since my daughter has wished me a Happy Mothers' Day.  (Ouch! Ouch!  OUCH!)  Hallmark has made no money from her.

With all that said, I will wish myself a Happy Mothers' Day because I am a Mom who has done the best she could do.  When that little baby was born and put in my arms, no one handed me a manual on what to do next.  I knew in my heart, though, that I wanted the best for her throughout her life.

The early years were pretty good.  I would lead, she would follow.  I would teach, she would learn.  She was my little clone.  I was ill-prepared for when she started to rebel at age 12.  Her type of rebellion happened in other families... .not ours!  Boy, that one was a hard one to swallow!

I sometimes look back over our 38 years of turmoil with this child of mine that I love so much.  I am not going to beat myself up by saying I should have done things differently... .because I couldn't at the time.  I did the best I could... .and when I knew better (and I was always searching for that "better"... .I did better.  I continue to search.

How can I not shed a tear or two when Mothers' Day comes and I see other mothers receiving cards, flowers, kisses, hugs.  (Sigh!)  I will work hard, though, to keep that to "a tear or two"... .then get on with life.  I have been (and AM) a good Mom... .deserving of praise for the work I have done for this child.

Recently I saw a sign that read, "Raising children can be like being pecked to death by a chicken."  That made me smile... .and smiling makes me feel better.

To all you other mothers... .I wish some sunshine in your worlds.  Have a Happy Mothers' Day!


Title: Re: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: Austin53 on May 12, 2017, 06:22:17 PM
Happy MotHers Day Haut from one Wonderful Mom to other. I also will not hear from my 35 yr old daughter this Mother's Day as I have just finally gotten the courage to report her to CPS for verbally berating and daily tirades of my 15 yr old Grandson. These can go on from morning till night if not for school. She is mentally and physically exhausting to be around. I have been on the receiving end of her tirades for 20 some yrs,so not speaking to her is a relief. My next step will be to file for grandparent visitation rights as I am no long allow contact with him. I have not done this till now because It made me Ill to know this would be the outcome. I am ready for this journey and will give up all my Mothers Days because I know my Grandson is saying Thank You Nana in his heart and soul. I pray that she is made to get the help she needs and that now that the outside world has been let in on her unstable mental state behind closed doors my Grandson will get the help for his ever increasing anger and oppositional defiance that he is beginning to exhibit.


Title: Re: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: Hopelessandlost on May 12, 2017, 08:03:47 PM
Happy Mother's Day to us all. As a counsolor  told me years ago I did the best I could with the knowledge I had at the time. That includes not only my children but my ex husband. Fear kept me in that marriage for to long... .I did and still would move the world if I could for my adult kids, but it is not In anyone s best interest that I do. Not Mine or theirs. I have done the best I Can and still been emotionally abused ttime and time again... .

I am a slow learner perhaps, I keep looking for change in people that are who they are,, cold and abusive. Trying to change them would be as hard as trying to change me from being an empathetic person. I am who I am,as much as they are who they are. One will always abuse the other... .

I'll be thinking about this forum and all of you on Sunday and know I am not alone and that we were and are good mothers... .❤️


Title: Re: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: Moonshiney on May 13, 2017, 06:55:08 AM
Excerpt
Recently I saw a sign that read, "Raising children can be like being pecked to death by a chicken."  That made me smile... .and smiling makes me feel better.
Love it and a Happy Mother's Day to all the moms.


Title: Re: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: Gorges on May 13, 2017, 11:03:25 AM
Huat,
You have been very helpful to me on this forum.  We can still "mother/mentor" people even if they are not our own children. I am sad that I don't have a good relationship with my only daughter.  But, I can be open to developing mentoring relationships with other women and hope to be a positive influence on those who are open to it.

My daughter recently met with a woman about birth control and the woman convinced her that she should seek help and therapy because of what she was doing.  So, I am leaving it up the metaphoric universe to mother my daughter... .I have done what I can do for now.


Title: Re: Happy Mothers' Day to all you mothers
Post by: wendydarling on May 13, 2017, 04:26:56 PM
Haut, thank you 

A happy mothers day to you and all mothers.

May all our children be safe.

WDx