BPDFamily.com

Hi,
I've known that several family members have BPD or BPD traits for a few years now. I only have recently realized the extent that it might have affected my whole outlook on life. I think that I have some depression and alcohol issues on my side. I'm looking for a place to start... .

Thanks

HEY Tazdingo:  
Welcome to the community!

I'm sorry to hear that you have several family members with BPD or BPD traits.  It is common for other family members to have problems with depression and/or anxiety problems.  Are you currently connected with all of your family members with BPD?

People with disordered family members can have a skewed sense of "normal", until they realize that most families don't interact the way that their's does.

Recognizing that you have a problem to work on is a good place to start.  Have you ever gotten treatment for depression or substance abuse in the past?  Is your depression periodic/seasonal or constant?  Can you reach out for some help, perhaps for therapy, meds or a support group?  Other than alcohol, have you found other ways to manage your depression?  (alcohol actually can depress you more).

Take care.  We look forward to hearing more of your story, when you are ready to share more detail.  I think you are saying you are looking for help and want to improve your situation?

Thanks for the response Nibbler :)

I'm currently living with 2 BPDs. One has had some help and the other has no clue. One side of my family is riddled with them and the rest of the family has cropped up with things from schizophrenia(cousin) to alcoholism(sibling, cousin, uncles)

I've had some therapy for depression/self-esteem/anger. That helped a lot at the time, but it was before I had heard of BPD.

Financial issues cropped up the last couple years, and that's when I started a bit of my own self medicating. Everything was such a tornado of emotional garbage it just numbed things up.

In that same period I learned about BPD and it explained so much! I could identify the breakdowns of family members and even predict them and prevent them. But, after a while that's become wearisome... .

Nothing has really changed in the last year+ on our relationships, but financially I'm kinda of stuck with them (Silicon Valley housing)

My depression levels do ebb and flow situationally and seasonally (winter is always bad). The warmer drier wether of the last month around hear has perked me up and I got to reading some BPD psychology articles again. I stumbled on some information about dealing with you BPD mother and it struck a chord. I always thought I was the introverted strong silent type, but that never seemed quite right.

I think that the silence is a social anxiety that was caused by my mother. Somehow, since I identified it, it became worse. I can talk to people when it is needed but as soon as it moves on from need to just idle talk I start trembling and can barely spit out a word. (time since drinking alcohol does compound this issue but it's still there if not).

There are many other ways that I interact with the world that I am now realizing were all defined by my anti-social mother and relatives and it's a little shocking to me how pervasive it is... .

I hope this ramble makes sense :)