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Title: New Member to BPDFamily Post by: Frustated on May 18, 2017, 01:53:14 PM I have just registered for the first time. I am seeking some valuable insight to BPD. Feel like I walk on eggshells all the time.
My son is 20 yr old gay male. He lives with my husband (his step father)and I and does not work. How can I support him in finding suitable employment ? Do I give an ultimatum because I can not afford my bills and his! HELP Title: Re: New Member to BPDFamily Post by: livednlearned on May 18, 2017, 02:54:19 PM Hi Frustrated,
Welcome and hello :) Walking on eggshells is a pretty common phrase around here! How does your S20's BPD traits present? Does he externalize? Internalize? Is he diagnosed for BPD or anything else? There are counter-intuitive skills to help prevent things from getting worse, and some that are about learning to coach (instead of enable or rescue or save, for example). It takes a while to get the hang of things and small changes in our behavior can make a difference in theirs. Ultimatums don't tend to work. We talk here more about setting goals and having boundaries to protect ourselves. Sometimes, first things first, we have to learn what BPD is to help us understand what we're dealing with. Glad you found the site and decided to post. :) We are here to walk with you. LnL Title: Re: New Member to BPDFamily Post by: Frustated on May 25, 2017, 07:54:52 PM My son was diagnosed around the age of 8 with ADHD, then in early teens with anxiety and depression. He was diagnosed this year with BPD. He was then bounced around from dr to dr and a wide variety of medications. He is waiting to begin the STEPPS program through mental health which there is a lengthy wait. He is now going to a psychiatrist who specializes in BPD. He has began some new medications which seem to be helping.
The main issue is that my husband (stepfather to BPDS) does not understand the fact that my son is not working and living with us. He gets very upset at the smallest of things and then they get into an argument which results in my son saying he is moving out. He cuts himself when he is upset and tends to be drawn into negative behaviours... .Drinking, drugs. I feel so caught in the middle... .I understand that my husband just wants him to be motivated to do well for himself and move on but I also know I need to help my son and I am afraid that when the arguments begin that he is setting my son back in his journey to become well! |