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Friend is getting on well with his new girlfriend, and I have been keeping out of the way. But yesterday he said he would like to come and see me, so I said 'great, it'll be good to see you'. He came and was nice, told me how happy he was, and all was ok. Then he said 'oh, she's coming back now, I've told her to come here'. I was a bit nonplussed and not really prepared, but, so what. She arrived practically immediately, and I welcomed her, he showed her round my place and we sat down for a glass of wine or so... or so... .Anyway, it was probably a bit too much, and we got on very well. Lots to talk about, because we know many of the same people. I probably gossipped a bit too much (the wine). And he probably said a few strange things, then they discussed their relationship a bit ( a bit too quick for her). He also revealed important things to her that she didn't yet know about him. He is obviously so much in love, he can't take his eyes off her. It got very late, and I suggested they go to bed, because he has to go to work early in the morning. I neither did nor said anything compromising, he kind of indicated to her that we have a close relationship and have been on holiday together. And why not?
But I am left now with the feeling that I have done something wrong. I don't know why. As if I tried to steal someone's partner. I'm afraid he will be jealous that I get on well with her and will feel he has to compete (and won't visit). I'm afraid she will think there is something going on between Friend and myself (there isn't, even if there was a couple of years ago). I sent a him a text asking if she would be there tonight because I'd like to apologise briefly to her, and thanking him for the evening. He read it and ignored it.
I suppose I have to give them space again. But I do hate this feeling... don't know why I should feel guilty.

Any updates?

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. When there's an awkward moment we all wonder that. I hope by now you have shaken it off. You are not responsible for your friend or his relationship, it sounds like they had a great time thanks to you.

Yes, updates. I was able to talk with him at length and it was all OK.  They enjoyed it and want to continue contact. It is still hard for me and I still feel very lonely. Only time will tell. Thanks for replying. Guess I just have to work on myself.

Well, probably to close this thread... .we have all had more contact with each other. Girlfriend and I like each other, and had a heart to heart talk yesterday. She realises there is something not quite ok, and isn't sure if she can deal with it - but wants to give it a try. I haven't mentioned the BPD word, and have no intention of doing so - but she is making her own experiences. She tells me I'm very important to him-perhaps the most important person, and tells me he always talks of me with respect (often not how he acts when he is with me!). I told her that she has to be his most important person, and I will try to support them both. I told her he is worth it - which is what I believe.
It is still not always easy for me, but I have to learn and change - and I am trying.
What surfaces additionally with me is enormous sadness that he has probably found the best partner - and still it is not sure if the relationship can succeed.