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My ex girlfriend wBPD constantly changes her mind or opinions about things, such as the status of our relationship. One second she refers to our relationship as romantic and the following week we're platonic before we're eventually always back on again and she's running into my apartment telling me how much she loves me.

It happens way too frequently, suddenly, and out of the blue to have anything personal to do with me (she'll often just say that she doesn't know what she wants versus claiming that it has anything particular to do with me or our chemistry or my personality, etc.), so what gives? Why am I always in limbo?

Is this common? Does it stem from a lack of self? An inability to choose? Inherent instability?

I told her that I can no longer take her indecisiveness as I am not a toy, but I still try to understand the mind for whatever that's worth. Thanks!  |iiii

Hey,

I found this to be VERY common with my ex. When I would catch him cheating, he'd say we're not even a couple so I have no right over him. When he would want s*x, he'd say we're a couple and it's our right to do it. When I finally found a new romantic partner, all of a sudden the open relationship/FWB situation we were in didn't exist, and we had been a couple the entire time. I laughed when he said that and replied "so I guess this means you did cheat on me with _____!" He then went on to justify that it wasn't cheating, that he was always honest about where we stand (he wasn't), and that I always knew we would never end up together. And let's not even get into the status of our friendship. When I would try to break up with him as a friend he'd rip me apart and say that's not fair we have such a great friendship that he guesses only he was the real friend here but in the blink of an eye suddenly our friendship is crap and he wants nothing to do with me. I always figured he was so indecisive because a) he has no real sense of self and b) he's a deliberate contrarian.