BPDFamily.com

Again I am at a loss here…... so today our son wrote a nice letter to the newest caseworker on the 11th investigation asking them to call him between such and such time. (he is a nurse)  He wanted to know why the 11th allegation was being left open. DHS called back not at the requested time but fortunately he was able to take that call.  There were 2 Caseworkers and a manager on the phone with him.  He asked why the case we being left open and If they were looking at other people who are around his son.  They said no, they were only looking at him, the call was about him abusing his son, no one else.  So he said, what about my wife’s BF, when they visit my son has said he sleeps with them.  What they said to him next is mind boggling….they said we are not looking at anyone else,  the complaint is against you.   We have 45 days to look into this to see if you are guilty…you are trying to divert attention from yourself. He said this is my 11th allegation against me you don't see a pattern here?  She said each allegation is looked at separately. No, we don't. She also said they would never give him any details of what the case was exactly about, only whether or not he was guilty or not guilty. Nothing else unless he got a court order. Which he will do.   Our son asked if they had looked into his wife’s history and they said no, they don’t feel that is necessary.  Our son goes to court for his divorce the end of June. He is seeking full custody which i know a judge isn't going to give him if he has an open case of child abuse against him.  Our son has a coworker who he is close to. She has a daughter almost the same age as our GS. She called to speak to this caseworker today. They are not dating, but this caseworker kept asking her what her relationship was with our son. She told her I have worked with him and we have done things together as a family for 3 years. I trust him with my daughter. This coworker felt that the caseworker didn't really care about what she was saying. This coworker is very intelligent, she is a Scientist. She felt very disheartened.   The caseworker told her if she has any concerns about our GS and his mother she should call the police. She also thanked her for calling as they like to get both sides of the story from different sides. That is BS. They have never called any of our sons witnesses. Our daughter is a Paralegal. She thinks our son should file a lawsuit against DHS when things are settled.

 Perhaps my dil is far smarter than I thought….I truly am at a loss on what to do here.  I am going to drive down to my sons house tomorrow to see if my grandson will open up to me.  I feel like I am going to lose my mind.  How much can a person take?  I really don’t understand how everything can be so one sided.  I feel like I am stuck in a nightmare and can't wake up.

So very sorry for this near endless sabotage.

I recall when CPS interviewed my son (he was in kindergarten, ex had just triggered the pediatrician to "withdraw services" and she had to make me look worse than her) they did it at school.  They saw school as a 'neutral' location.  I would have contested that since at the time she was both dropping him off and picking him up, I worried he would still feel under her influence but since her claim fizzled with his interview there, I let it go.

Can CPS interview the child while with your son (and you)?  I'm assuming they've only spoken to him while on her turf or her time?  Then express to court their lack of thorough professionalism by not getting the other side of the story that way.

Or maybe it's a catch 22, they won't let him have time while under investigation so they can't interview GS with son and then when the case is closed and visits are restored then they see no need to follow up with a post-interview?

I am saddened by the pending court action.  If the case is still open then son may feel obligated to continue the case to another date (yet another delay favoring mother) when the open case has been closed, hopefully finding nothing.  Perhaps make another chart listing all the times she has made allegations with notations for whenever they were just before a scheduled hearing or a significant visit, a vacation, a holiday, etc.

The caseworker who is on the 9tb case has been to our sons house around 4 times.  She said there is a huge difference. At moms house she isn't really given the opportunity to speak with the kids W is constantly redirecting caseworker by stating look at this, see that. At our sons house he is laid back and she can spend time playing and talking with GS.  Other than that, no... .no one else seems to care about seeing S and GS interact. . I drove down today to spend some time with my GS. I said I was sorry to have missed him last weekend. He said a man (probably police officer) told him he couldn't see his dad for 4 hours. (4 days in reality). GS told me there was a robber by the car when he was in the car, with his mom and sister... .that was why he couldn't see his dad?   I have no idea what any of that means and I didn't want to push him. So we will see what happens. Our son feels W will make another police report tomorrow so she can keep G son for another 4 days. She takes both kids out of state... .not supposed to but when there aren't any consequences why wouldn't you?  Sons attorney doesn't think this is going to affect what S wants regarding full custody... .I don't trust that, but we will see. Attorney is pretty confident judge sees W for what she is after 11 allegations. Prayers and fingers crossed. Once the divorce and custody is decided she will marry bf and then ask to move with kids to Calif. Hopefully she isnt the parent who gets full custody.