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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: MrRight on May 25, 2017, 11:14:47 PM



Title: Car Journeys
Post by: MrRight on May 25, 2017, 11:14:47 PM
I'm new to this - what is the term for a BPD wife undiagnosed - is it uBPD or what?

anyway.

how to survive car journeys?

she soon starts to get wound up if we are sitting in a traffic queue and I dont drive bumper to bumper with the car in front.

lane changing on the freeway in slow traffic (I'm britsh and we call it motorway but as I expect this is mainly usa people I will use usa terms). This drives me crazy - change to the fastest lane! quick! ass! we'll be late!

so I change lanes - then other lane starts to move

change lane!

but I did!

shut up creep - move back!

etc etc

and what to do when she starts attacking gear shift hand with mobile phone because not happy with progress?

what strategies can I use to deal with these scenarios as reason does not seem to work.


Title: Re: Car Journeys
Post by: foggydew on May 26, 2017, 12:59:37 AM
That sounds so familiar. My uBPD person used to do much the same. It seems to come from stress and not being in control. I tried to ignore it (not a very good idea, because then it got worse) - but the only thing that worked was sticking to what I wanted to do and saying sorry you feel stressed, doing my best, you have to put up with my decisions if I'm driving. Then I got a lot of 'how incompetent you are' but the worse things stopped (grabbing the gear lever, etc).
Oh, and I call it a motorway too... :-)