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Title: Is she really this toxic? Post by: Shedd on May 26, 2017, 04:28:10 AM Hi all,
So we've managed to be in contact every so often and things are going fine, but after our break up things started going downhill really fast for me. I wanted to kill my self and have been struggling to climb out of the darkness ever since. In the midst of the darkness I have found that I have a brain aneurism and I feel as though I have some nerve damage in my brain because I can constantly feel the inside of my head like it's moving around, and I feel like I have the start of glaucoma. I also have colors cardio facial syndrome which attacks my immune system, but I can't help, but to feel like she did this to me for how toxic she was an sister how sad I have been without her in my life. I was extremely in love with her and thought she was the one and she was perfect. I realize now more than ever how terrible she was for me, but could she really be that toxic to cause all these problems for me? Or am I overthinking that and it's just my immune disorder? Keep in mind I am a 30 year old female. Oh, and I've been to the eye doctor and neurologist, but the only thing they found was the brain aneurism. They can't tell me why I have that feeling in my head or why my vision is blurry. Title: Re: Is she really this toxic? Post by: happendtome on May 26, 2017, 08:19:43 AM I must say that the health issue was one of the key elements why i got focused to no contact so deeply.
I am afraid that these kind of relationships could be very damaging to our health system. In my case, i had almost a year problems with my sleeping. Only now, last 2-3 months i have got my sleep back. Still some days not so good. I also did cut my alcohol intake (never been a heavy drinker, but reduced still) and started exercising. Jogging etc. I have experienced before in my life that stress could lead all kind of health issues so thats why i was so determined this time. I really want to take stress level in my life to the minimum level. It seems impossible though, but i try. Title: Re: Is she really this toxic? Post by: Lucky Jim on May 26, 2017, 10:52:23 AM Hey Shedd, I'm sorry to learn that you went into a tailspin after your b/u. To answer your question: yes, I think she really is that toxic. Needless to say, our emotional and physical health are closely intertwined. After separating from my BPDxW, I was depressed and experienced weird foot pain that I've never had before or since. Stress manifests itself in the body in unpredictable ways, I think. Suggest you continue to treat yourself with care and compassion. It definitely gets better!
LuckyJim |