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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: montenell on June 02, 2017, 08:39:17 AM



Title: Irreverent behavior to deal with BPD
Post by: montenell on June 02, 2017, 08:39:17 AM
I was talking to a friend of mine and she mentioned using "irreverent behavior" saying that it is a part of DBT.  I looked it up and didn't find a lot about it. I told her about the situation yesterday where my wife came at me saying she felt like crying and my response was "find your happy place and stay in that mother___er".  This shocked my wife and made her laugh and interestingly enough she left it alone and her mood did lighten. My friend said that was actually pretty irreverent behavior although I wasn't trying to use that technique. My question is are any of you familiar with it and if so how has it worked for you?.


Title: Re: Irreverent behavior to deal with BPD
Post by: DaddyBear77 on June 02, 2017, 02:42:37 PM
I actually found a thread here that discusses Irreverent Communications style:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=270545.0

I'm not a therapist, not by a long shot, and before you brought it up I had never heard of it. But reading a bit about it, it makes sense as a "counter balance" to the Reciprocal Communications style.


Title: Re: Irreverent behavior to deal with BPD
Post by: formflier on June 03, 2017, 12:39:26 PM

My guess is that this will work as a shock tactic a few times.

Long term it will likely cement the idea that you are not a place to take "emotional issues" for any sort of understanding.  Perhaps with BPD that is a good thing... who knows.

Generally speaking, the advice is to listen empathetically and perhaps try to validate, vice telling someone what to do.

Lots and lots of nuance here... .please take all of this as general advice.

FF