BPDFamily.com

This post is a response to all those who wonder about whether they'll find the same kind of sexual gratification as with their BPD. Well ive been involved with someone new for a little while now (ive known him for five years but until recently we were just friends) and while he is by no means perfect he is not BPD. I think i have finally moved on from the BPDex and one sign is that i am having great sex with someone new minus all the drama. It's intense but that intensity doesnt seem to carry through in our interactions outside the bedroom and let me tell you how nice it is! I have known this man for five years now so i feel like i know him and can safely say he is not BPD. Ive also realized that maybe it wasnt just the BPD ex who was great in bed... .But ME too ( maybe he was just mirroring me). So to all those despairing there is life (and sex) after your BPDex.

How long has it been since your relationship with BPD ended?

officially about two and half years - although it was not NC... .so there was continued contact, and attempted recycles and drama, and all that. Something finally happened a couple weeks ago and I finally realized that I was getting zero benefit from being in contact with him, and I decided to sever all ties and move on with my life.

OH... .I'm looking forward to being intimate with someone again. Right now, I can't even imagine it.

I have had a similar experience.  My ex pwBPD ended our relationship 7.5 months ago and my last recycle with him was 3.5 months ago.

However, a month ago, I had an overnight with a long time friend completely unexpectedly and it was such a healing experience for me.  Part of my ex's devaluation phase included him telling me I was needy when I asked him to hold me while we were sleeping.  For the first year of our relationship it was a non-issue (I recall him noting how much he enjoyed sleeping close with me and that this was a first for him... .probably a love bombing effort) and then grew into something he would withhold.  Literally screaming and shouting at me in the middle of the night if I touched him the wrong way or requested he cuddle me.  

Having a truly loving encounter with a trusted and kind friend helped me detach from my ex pwBPD and allow me to be hopeful about dating.  Right now, I am committed to staying single and figuring out how to truly love, cherish, and fulfill myself.

Hmm. Yes. It can be so healing. A while back the BPDex tried to cheat on his replacement with me. When i turned him down he tried to treat me like a whore. Well i ended up instead spending the night with my kind friend who completely respected every single boundary i put down without a single word of protest or attempt to challenge my boundaries. Since i had been treated like a sex object, that night i requested we only cuddle and sleep instead of have sex. Where the BPDex drained, exhausted and abused me, this man has invigorated and empowered me. There are healthy respectful people out there who actually understand that well being is mutual: ie win win... .Not a matter of either, or (win lose). Allow them in your lives. Let them help you in your healing.