BPDFamily.com

Hi all
To be honest don't know if I'm in the right place
I'm reaching out here.
It's a long story.
How I came to this site tonight in my googling  I tonight about my partner not really caring at all when I'm sick this is the first site I came across.

Basically been together 5 years. In the last 3.5 we have had sex twice and no other intimacy whatsoever. No affection. No kissingg. No nothing.


The hardest part she never wants to talk about it. Every time I try she just gets angry.

Tonight I asked her how come you haven't asked how I am or  f I needed anything. This is after having temps around 39 and just came back from the doctor.
She said it's because I never asked how she was and followed by her mocking me with the sounds I was making last night when I was really unwell.

Help!

Hi Bigboypants - welcome to the bpdfamily *hi*

First of all, I hope you're feeling better. A temp of 39 is nothing to sneeze at. I'm in the states, and I just used Google to check - that's 102.2F - if I had that, I'd be delirious lying flat in bed staring at the ceiling!

I was talking the other day on a different thread about empathy, and how really hard it is for a pwBPD to express empathy sometimes. We can never really know exactly why, but it's likely because of the internal emotional turmoil that a pwBPD often faces - it makes it hard to think about someone else when we have such a hard time processing our own feelings.

Having said that, it's really hard to face when you're the one who desperately needs some tender loving care. I remember a time that I was in so much nerve pain from a ruptured disc in my back that I had to go to the emergency doctor. My wife drove me there, but after the pain medication started to work, she began to tell me how selfish *I* was, and how I would NEVER have done what she did. This was emotional pain on top of physical pain and it was all too much. I remember just going silent and trying to think about something else for the rest of the night.

Tell me, can you think of some of the reasons that you DO stay in this relationship? Have you taken a look at the tools we list over on the right hand side of this board? Something else that might give you some perspective is the section in this article about Ten Beliefs That Can Get You Stuck (https://bpdfamily.com/content/surviving-break-when-your-partner-has-borderline-personality)

Hopefully you're feeling better physically and have had a chance to check out some tools here. I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story when you get a chance.

~DaddyBear77