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Title: Should be interesting P session today Post by: formflier on June 06, 2017, 11:42:26 AM My phone was off for an hour or two for a social security hearing. When I turned it on... .there was a classic text bomb conversation (one sided of course). Started off with essentially I don't know where you are and what you are doing... .you won't talk with me. You always offer to talk but never do... .so... .don't worry about talking to me... .I'm not going to listen. Odd... . I thought we talked last night... .I also though I got texts yesterday saying my wife didn't care where I was or what I was doing... . Sigh... . Big picture: School is over, so wife is home more... .yet doesn't want to talk... .yet wants to know what is going on... . Oh... and we still need to finish up the "trip to see sister conversation" For you guys... .my life should calm down some after today and I can answer some things in my posts... that I haven't really gotten to yet. See you guys after P. FF Title: Re: Should be interesting P session today Post by: formflier on June 06, 2017, 06:47:11 PM So, it was a good visit with the P. A bit humbling when she pointed out something I could have done better yesterday. So... .yesterday at 1002, my wife sent me a decent text and honestly for the next 15 minutes it was healthy and respectful. Then it got twisted into what I would or wouldn't say via text. That kept going until 1145. While each of my responses was short and non-inflammatory, when you look at the total thing she kinda shook her head and asked if there was any evidence this comforted my wife... .nope. Then she said I phrase I've heard often on here... ."This was working for her... .and she kept at it... and you kept engaging" Today my wife came on strong via text, I sent one or two quick replies and because of my situation (a hearing) I actually turned off my phone. From 1033 to 1045 my wife put some really interesting things in the texts... .vented alot. 12 minutes start to finish and it was over. Big teaching point was to stop doing things that are dysfunctional that are "working for" my wife. We talked some about the "forbidding" conversation. My P wants me to focus on succinctly calling my wife on bad behavior... .be clear that I know she is playing a game and that I'm not going to play. Then end it... . Basically... not to let my wife JADE... or at least no participate. I'm sure we'll talk more about it. FF |