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I just ran into the woman I caught in bed with my husband 2 1/2 years ago on Christmas. I controlled myself, but I really wanted to go up to her and say something! What, I have no idea... .I think that is what stopped me. I just hated seeing her happily going about her day, while I am still  dealing with the aftermath of my divorce. She is still living in town as I see I was lied to about that. Maybe she moved back, who knows.  She is working at the store the two of them first met in.  She didn't really see me and I am not sure she would have known me. It is the first time I saw her there as I do not go often. I think she has recently transferred since I looked for her name at the pharmacy when I was there last to make sure she wasn't there in the past. She is now. I guess I will not be shopping there any more. I hate that this is still affecting me.  It bothers me that no one knows the pain he has brought to me... .not even her. Not completely, even though she has to know she broke up my marriage.  I know he is still in contact with her and recycled her several times. Even though he has a baby with someone else. I know he would go back to her. I wanted to go tell her what I know all about him now and how crazy he is- but I decided I would just look like  the crazy one. I sat in the car in tears after I left. My sister said I did the right think by not talking to her and that it would have not helped me at all. It may have even gotten back to him and he would probably be excited to hear I am still upset. Who knows... .Just the whole PTSD coming up again. I am sick of this!

I think it's normal to react this way when you bump into someone that played a part in breaking up your marriage, divorce is really tough.

Hi Herodias,

That must have been so awful for you.  I can't imagine how I'd feel if it were me.  You were very self controlled to not say or do anything and I think that's something you should be proud of.  Your sister is probably right in that showing your feelings to this woman would likely be taken as a sign of weakness.  In time when you are feeling stronger, maybe you will be able to walk into her workplace and swish past her with your head held high.  You are not the person who ought to be feeling bad if your husband was cheating on you.  Try to remember that.  It sounds to me like you've been through enough already and it's no wonder it is taking it's toll to have such a nasty surprise.  Be kind to yourself now and do whatever makes you feel good.  For me sometimes that means a toffee cream meringue  :)  That moment of bliss helps!  Good job I go to the gym regularly 

Healing takes time.  Just look after yourself and as you said, steer clear of that individual if it's damaging to that healing.  For now at least.  Great to hear you have a supportive sister.  Those relationships are important when we go through life's low points, aren't they?  Perhaps there is something the two of you could do together just to take your mind off things at present. 

Love and light x

   Thank you both... .My sister is out of state, but she gets it. Oddly enough, she thought she saw him today (she lives in the state he now lives in- oddly enough he always copied her) and had to do a double take. Weird how she feels too. She is dating someone who was with a personality disorderd woman, so she may need the knowledge I have given her. She never liked my ex. I was with her on and off the night before I caught him with this woman, Xmas eve. She remembers the night very well too.
   I am eating chocolate cake,  I think I am eating from all of this stress... .one of these days I will get sick of it all and exercise. I was relieved to see she gained allot of weight too! Totally different than when I saw her naked!  

Hi Herodias,

That must have been quietly satisfying and softened the blow if nothing else... .I know that's catty of me to say but who claims to be perfect?  We have to find the positives we can in horrible situations.  Glad you've got cake  :)  We could be doing something worse than a sugar hit after all! 

Despite your sister being in a different state it's good to still have that contact with someone you can be open with in real life.  Must admit I do fear friends getting fed up of hearing about my blips in recovery so I can tend to keep stuff in at times about how I'm feeling, which I know isn't great.  Saying that, my best friend really is a rock and I'd be lost without her.  She has the patience of a saint and is such a great listener.  Makes a world of difference.  And of course it's amazing to have such a bunch of wonderful souls on this site who don't judge us for being a mess sometimes because we can be a mess together.  Here's to a mess free day tomorrow.

Love and light x