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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Belyfan on June 10, 2017, 12:31:29 PM



Title: Support for Using DBT Skills
Post by: Belyfan on June 10, 2017, 12:31:29 PM
Hi, New here, I have a daughter who has BPD traits and is currently in treatment after many years of this struggle, she is 21 years old. I am looking for forum where i can share my experiences with others regarding practicing DBT skills. I am in the process of learning and kind of teaching my self some the skills to improve our relationship.I would like a place that I can get feedback on the skills. A place to share our stories about using DBT skills. I am currently reading "Overcoming Borderline personality disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change', by Valerie Porr. It is filled with a lot of good information. I am starting to try some of the skills but would like to get some support on what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. I am beginning with just observing her and being mindful of her and our relationship. I know that she loves me because she told me but I feel that she is pushing me away. I would like to mend our relationship and I have heard that DBT has been very successful. I has evidence based research, which gives me hope.


Title: Re: Support for Using DBT Skills
Post by: Yepanotherone on June 10, 2017, 03:28:36 PM
You've come to the right place :) I too am reading that exact same book ! I've taken a wee break from reading though for the last couple of weeks because I find it can become a bit much and I just need that break to read a normal mind numbing  book ( like 50 shades of grey !   :) )
One of my biggest takeaways so far from that book is to imagine tears rolling down my DD's face each time she starts to irk and frustrate me , this is to remind myself that she is behaving and saying things In such a way because she's in emotional pain . This helps me feel empathetic again , and cools me down so that I can respond in a more empathetic way


Title: Re: Support for Using DBT Skills
Post by: wendydarling on June 11, 2017, 07:55:50 AM
Hi Belyfan   I'd like to join Yep in welcoming you to bpdfamily.

I'm sorry to hear about the years of struggles and glad your daughter is in treatment. We look forward to your posts and questions, we are here to help and support each other and you'll find a wealth of resources.

To the right  |---> are tools and lessons, they are really helpful and many of which my 28DD has discussed with me from time to time, she completes 12 months DBT in July.

In what way is your daughter pushing you away? I found this interesting thread "what does it mean push/pull". https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=99725.0  (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=99725.0)

WDx