BPDFamily.com

My BPD ex was influenced by friends to leave me for another guy they thought would be perfect for her. She cheated, broke up with me out of no where, and replaced me the day after with him. It's been 7 months since the discard. I have not contacted her once but she would frantically call me to yell abut nonsense and send abusive texts about how she never loved me at least once a month. I have since blocked her.

I know I should be moving on and I am getting better but the thought of her and her new r/s haunt me. I know she would constantly miss and long for her ex husband even though she hated him and painted him black. I'm am constantly asking myself, what is she ACTUALLY feeling?

1) Did she really move on from me that quickly and fell in love with someone else or do I still linger and is it a defense mechanism to block me and and suppress feelings?

2) Is she completely consumed by him? does she think of me? does she miss me? Is she able to feel the pain in the loss?

3) even though I am painted black, does she long for me when she is lonely or alone (not with him)?

4) I have blocked her and been no contact. Does she have urges to reach out to me? does she feel powerless now that she can not contact me? Does she wonder how I am?

These are the types of questions that will drive you mad.
It's painful that we can never know.
Yet, that is the reality we live in.
Form follows function.
So we must become what we have to.
In our situation, dealing with BPD types, we must learn to let go and accept.
Accept that they are gone and we have no clear answers.
The only thing that we know, is we were wrapped up in their disordered world.
Until it almost destroyed our own.
Seems like we should have all the answers in our new internet reality.
Yet, love hasn't synced itself up with the web.
It still remains a great big mystery.
All we can do, is learn to accept it, it's losses, and it's ending.

Sorry to say this OP, but it seems like you're projecting your feelings onto her. Drawing from my own experience, I am certain that my BPD ex does not, even in her lonliest moments, think about me or the 3 years that we spent together. I think that the best thing that you can do is shift the focus from what she is feeling to how you are feeling. Do you want her to reach out to you? Are you hoping that she thinks about you? If so, why? Maybe it would be best if you addressed your own feelings of longing. In regards to your first question, the likelihood is that she did love you however, you're painted black and the new guy is white. Good luck with your healing OP.

Her reality (thinking/feeling) is based on her emotion of the moment; you may be split black for some time, then if she needs another replacement, and there isn't a suitable one around, she might reach out to see if you are available.

Stay NC, continue learning about BPD and your role in it. The goal is to detach to the point of being indifferent to what she is doing, thinking, feeling. Best not to be an option/orbiter of hers; the cycle always repeats.