BPDFamily.com

I am a daughter of a mother with undiagnosed BPD.  My sister, and several of her children may too be sufferers.

I recently requested my mother end all future contact with me.  I feel guilty, sad, and am hopeful I can find what I need in this group.  Primarily a way to stop feeling guilty and establish healthy boundaries with others.  I'd like to develop tools to stop care taking, but maintain my caring nature.

I am grateful to have some place I can turn where others can understand how isolating and confusing it can be to deal with those struggling with BPD.

Hi KatharineH! 

Welcome!

Thank you for joining us and for making the first post to our C&H board.  :) There are so many other members here who will be able to share from their own stories and hurts like yours. I am sorry for the pain you are currently experiencing. It is no fun at all, and you make an excellent observation when you mention that you feel sad and guilty. I know of many others of us who also experience those same feelings. You are not alone.

Here is a link which might be helpful to you:

Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG) (https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog)

Have you considered seeing a T to help you on this journey? I am so thankful for mine. Healing from an uBPDm is a tough recovery but it is so possible, one step at a time!

 
Wools

Hi KatherineH,
I am totally new to this but I am also the daughter of a mother with BPD. My mom called me in the middle of the night recently and forced me to make a decision on whether or not I wanted a relationship with her. I completely understand you wanting no future contact with her and I hope you know that you shouldn't feel guilty for your decision. I know how incredibly hard it is to be in that position and I believe that you are doing what you think is right and best for you and that is incredibly strong considering the circumstances.