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Title: How to deal with lying Post by: SAAT on June 17, 2017, 06:38:30 AM I am looking for help with my DBPD 26yr old daughter. She was diagnosed about 4 years ago and has been in therapy and on medication since then. Some of her behaviours have improved, but she still seesaws between severe depression and relationship issues.
I have no idea how to deal with her lying. I know she lies a lot of the time, although she is very good at it and knows how to use lies to con me, normally so I will give her money (for a medical procedure/because she is stranded etc). I travel a lot and she will text me with some drama that has just happened etc. Should I confront her? should I tell her I don't trust her? I know I have to set some boundaries here but I am concerned about her thinking I am rejecting her. I did tell her today I would only pay for bills directly - not just transfer her money. Title: Re: How to deal with lying Post by: Lollypop on June 18, 2017, 04:49:49 AM Hi there Saat
Remembering that boundaries are for you. They refer to the big stuff "you will not hit me" and are your morals and values. I set a limit with my adult DS26. I never give him money. I'll be paying for his therapy that starts next week by direct transfer or cheque to the therapist, I take everything he says with a pinch of salt. He's an excellent liar. Since I've stepped back and left his life to himself (and not giving him money) I find that I don't ask many questions. LP Title: Re: How to deal with lying Post by: Rockieplace on June 18, 2017, 11:34:29 AM Hi there,
I hear your fear of saying no! I felt so like that a while back. After reading a lot of books on setting boundaries and the advice on here I plucked up the courage. I didn't say sorry. I didn't give reasons. I just said no, love, we can't do that. I always followed the refusal with 'love you' and kisses if it was in text etc. I then waited for the explosion of anger and hatred and it didn't come! I can now say no without too much worry. I hope this helps. |