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Title: Need someone to about this Post by: Willowtreeme on June 20, 2017, 10:27:21 PM Hi! Looking for help on how to deal with my daughter that gets mad and won't talk for months then when she is ready it needs something she calls. This has been going on since she had her last child 3 years ago. She has to have full control.
Title: Re: Need someone to about this Post by: Turkish on June 20, 2017, 11:48:56 PM Hello Willowtreeme,
*welcome* How old is she, and what kinds of things trigger her to not call you until she needs something? T Title: Re: Need someone to about this Post by: Willowtreeme on June 21, 2017, 05:51:32 AM She has Rages! Just twist things that i around. I just mention something to her father(we are divorce) she didn't like what I said which was only about her morning sickness and shr me didn't like it. Told me to mine my own business and not to talk to him. She wants to control every situation. She is dead never been diagnosed but I feel like all her rages, control and when she gets mad at anyone she stops talking to them. Uses my grandson as a weapon.
Title: Re: Need someone to about this Post by: Turkish on June 22, 2017, 12:50:55 AM How would she know you mentioned something to her father? If he tells her, it would be better to compartmentalize to yourself. It's set up to be a drama triangle in which there are no winners (except your daughter who can keep thinking she is a victim of persecution).
Our Dysfunctional Roles with Others (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/images/mb/karpman-intro-copy.png) Read our feature article here (https://bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle): You're worried about your daughter, and obviously hurt by her, and also your grandchild. Stepping back from the drama, driven by the uncontrollable emotions of a pwBPD (person with BPD) is the first stage in reducing conflict, a first goal. Do you see yourself getting drawn into the drama triangle? I'm not judging you here, all of us have stepped into it. The key is rising above it. And not all triangulation is bad, if you look at the link to the feature article). You might want to start looking at the info to the right of the board, the communication tools and lesson 1 (to start... .I know it's a lot of info, but senior members here can help support and guide you). This is strategery. To drill down tactically, what kinds of things set her off to engage in rages? |