BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: colbalt27 on June 21, 2017, 10:59:37 AM



Title: Spouse looking for direction.
Post by: colbalt27 on June 21, 2017, 10:59:37 AM
My spouse has PTSD from childhood abuse.  This has been diagnosed by several, very good, psychiatrists.  Lately my counselor, who has met my spouse a few times, is fairly sure that my spouse has BPD.  I am not sure why, but many years ago my spouse bought 'stop walking on eggshells' and I have recently read it.  I assume that it was to help my spouse with my mother in law, who has issues of her own.  So many things in the book hit home in our relationship.  After a long and severe illness, my spouse is physically better and has resumed treatment for PTSD.  The emotions that are coming out have us both thinking that some type of residential treatment program for PTSD is the best since I must work and my spouse is terrified alone.  I am nervous that some of the BPD traits of abandonment and rage will be a problem in this setting.  I am also nervous that having the program end will cause further fear and rejection.  And finally I am looking for guidance on programs that others have had success with.  I think that a typical inpatient 'psych ward' would be very harmful (the psychiatrist currently treating agrees but has never mentioned BPD).

Thanks All.


Title: Re: Spouse looking for direction.
Post by: isilme on June 21, 2017, 04:00:05 PM
I'd have to suggest talking it over with the therapist you are currently taking to - they will know what is available in your region, and the track records for them. 

It took me a long time to realize my anxiety is actually a form of PTSD - I, like others, thought it was something only combat veterans could have.  Mine is mostly triggered by overly loud environments and crowds of people, where I can't hear specifically what's happening or keep track of where others are - I feel panic and I feel unsafe.  Strangely, I am usually fine alone, I think because as a kid that meant all the crazy (my parents) were gone and I was safe for a few hours.


Title: Re: Spouse looking for direction.
Post by: Tattered Heart on June 22, 2017, 08:26:17 AM
Welcome to the baords *welcome*,

It sounds like you have a good support system in getting your husband help. The PTSD treatment center might help quite a bit, but until he goes, it will be difficult to know. I understand the fear and uncertainty that comes with that, but my question is what would it hurt if he goes?

If it doesn't help him, will it make things worse or will they be no different than they are now? What if it does help?