BPDFamily.com

Hi, all

Since the June 8 court date (in which I learned I lost my time with my boys), I been have such a difficult time deal with the results.  Recently, I asked my attorney what was left of my $8,000 retainer.  He returned an email telling me only $600.  I was floored.  Where did everything go? He also replied that he would need me to sign a substitution of attorney so I can get back any remaining money.  I feel that was again used. First, my STBXW, the court system and now this attorney that I put faith in. I feel so lost and betrayed.  This the tip of the iceberg.  Custody and Support was a win for her and I know I cant do anything about that right now. (Which sucks). I hurt and truly disappointed with the family law system.  Father's right? there was no Father's rights.  My question is should I seek another attorney or just "SUCK IT UP" even though I'm afraid this will kill me not being with my children.  Money is going to be very difficult once I move out of the house.  Again I feel I was robbed of my children just because I'm the father and she is a stay home mother. To this date, She still gloats about win the court case and that I'm so pathetic.

Please Help? Any advise is always welcomed.  Thank you 

I'm sorry that happened. My DH initially hired an attorney who charged a $6,000 retainer. She told him he would be lucky to get 40/60 (with him having the 40). She filed the initial paperwork and then went on maternity leave (really sucked that she didn't disclose to him that she was pregnant when he hired her!   ). The entire retainer was spent and he still didn't even have a visitation order. He didn't see his daughter for four months, and only got to see her again because BPDmom "allowed" it.

We spent a lot (lot LOT) more money to hire a more aggressive lawyer, and one that was familiar with PDs. The custody situation has worked out a lot better but it has been a big financial hardship. This is what you'll have to consider if you want to go the route of fighting against it.

Your visitation is every other weekend and Tuesday and Thursday nights for dinner. The only difference between that and 50/50 would be instead of dinner the kids would also spend the night. Do you have everything set up for them to do so? Do you have school clothes and supplies, etc? Help them with homework? How are exchanges going, is there conflict? We have a lot of conflict at exchanges so it's much better for SD to spend the night and have exchanges happen through the school (we drop off at school, mom picks up after school and vice versa).

Where do the invoices show the money went?  For what services?  Over what period of time?

Lawyers and their legal fees are expensive.  Part of it has to do with how you are billed.  Quarter hour increments?  How are you billed for phone calls?  I'm guessing a lot was attributed to "hearing preparation".  Even the filings, service delivery, etc can add up quickly.

Court fees are by comparison relatively inexpensive.

Midway through my two year divorce, I voiced my discontent and my lawyer recommended another lawyer.  That guy had the personality of an old wooden board, said his retainer was $7500 and bluntly said he would use most of it to 'review' my case.  I calculated that to be about 3 full days of billable work?  There was no way it would take 3 days to get up to speed on my case!  So I stayed with my lawyer, and eventually I saw that he was one of those problem-solving attorneys Bill Eddy recommends in his SPLITTING handbook.