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I am going through a divorce with my uBPDw. We are scheduled for mediation next week. We have been living in the same house through this whole thing.

Is it normal to still feel a sense of loss even though this marriage has been the most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life?

I should be ready to do a happy dance but I still get waves of sadness, they pass though. Maybe it's the sadness I truly feel for her. I think maybe when I don't have to be around her anymore then these waves will not hit me any longer.

thanks
BF

It is normal for your feelings to be all over the place.

The end of your marriage is really a loss, so feeling sad is very real.

That your marriage NEEDED to end and that it is the best thing for you isn't going to make those feelings go away.

Accept the feelings that come when they do--whether they are sadness or a happy dance.

Hi BF,

What you describe sounds perfectly normal to me.  How long have you been married and how long were you in a relationship overall?  I'd say that the end of any relationship, no matter how difficult will cause this sadness to occur.  There would be more of a concern on my own part if I didn't feel any sadness to be honest.


This is probably true.  Have you also considered that it would be natural to feel sadness for yourself?  After all, this is a loss.  You may not consider it a loss of the difficult stuff, but at some point things must have been good and that is lost if you've reached this point.  So a sadness about what could have been but wasn't would also be reasonable to expect.  Sounds to me like you're going through the expected process that any divorce or breakup would cause.  It's OK to feel this way.  :)on't judge yourself.

Love and light x