BPDFamily.com

Where to begin... .I'm so broken hearted right now after having no choice but to end a new relationship with a woman I fell head over heels for.  I'm a woman as well and had been single for almost 5 years. I was holding out for the right woman and I thought I found her. I'm no spring chicken. I'm 42 and I've seen mental illness of all kinds up close and personal.  My identical twin sister even survived a devastating and toxic relationship with a partner with BPD.  I was by her side through it all. I researched with her, read the books with her, and processed her situation with her for about a year.  That's why I say I knew better. Although I've cut my losses sooner because of what I've learned, I still feel so much pain and loss. My Dream Woman, or so I thought, has slowly unfolded the truth of her disorder by text book BPD behavior.  She is totally in denial and claims that everyone makes her the black sheep or bad person. It was only 3 months but I feel like a tornado has blown through my life and turned my heart upside down. Our break up is not as clean as it should be because she moved 2 hours away to be with me. I know she's not fully on her feet yet since she started a new job and needs to save up more money. I can't bare the thought of kicking her out before she's ready but her troubling behavior is wrecking me. I'm giving her a month but in the meantime she is finding ridiculous things to argue about and accusing me of things that NEVER happened.  This was one of the first signs that she was troubled.  The creativity it takes for her to come up with some of this stuff blows my mind. And her fuse! Whoa... .very short fuse.  I've never seen such a short fuse in my life. Some of her antics truly remind me of The Burning Bed. Raging anger ignited from insecurity and feeling slighted at every turn! This is one of the most disturbing scenarios I've ever dealt with personally.  Can anyone throw me a bone to help me process this? Pretty please?  And any advice on how to help someone see that they may be missing a dark alley in their mental health and need to get help? Is their any way to reach someone with BPD and prompt them to examine the possibility that they are needlessly suffering with an illness?
Thanks,
Knew Better

Hi KB,

When you mention The Burning Bed,  I'm concerned for your safety.  Are you being physically abused,  and are your concerned for your safety?

Turkish

No, I am not being physically abused in any way. I didn't mean to insenuate that part.  I meant the absurd way the abuser would mentally torture his wife with his insecurities. She could do nothing right and he was suspicious of EVERYTHING!