BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

It's been two months for me now and two months no contact since breaking up with my ex. I've had a tough time and have recently been put back on anti depressants and am starting therapy soon for my OCD and the break up.

Finding everyday tough knowing that she isn't missing me or attempting to contact me. I think she's totally indifferent to all feelings of me now. It's awful to be forgotten after all support and love given but I suppose if she doesn't come back she has no feelings of love for me anymore.

2 months is a long time to change. She is very different going out partying every weekend and seems to be getting her life back on track. You always wonder how it can be fair to be dumped and left at the side while they continue to be happy and move on so quickly.

Sorry just having a little vent again

I've been reading a lot of posts on the forum and have recently discovered something called splitting black? I've kind of realised how I relate to that quite a lot. After the break up I was the biggest most evil monster this world had ever seen. After visiting her in hospital and looking after her all week then bang I was controlling, evil, brought her down, stressful, the list goes on!

Does this period of thinking end? Or is it quite common the last thought process of a ex with BPD?

Just shows how unpredictable people can be

Hi J9997,

*welcome*

I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm sorry that you're going thought this, I completely understand how that feels when you inexplicably become the most hated person in your partners views.

Black and white thinkers usually points to a mental illness but their not all pwBPD, they can split people white or good but BPD splitting is a defense mechanism that protects their ego.

You probably already know that intimacy triggered the disorder, the closer that you are to a pwBPD the more that they act out. All pwBPD are different people with different traits and severity of the disorder, results vary with all of our members, it could be weeks, months, years and sometimes decades.
If you want to know my experience with my exuBPDw, the worst split was three years, what didn't help was fighting back and triggerering shame.

We can't control how long we'll be split for, neither does a pwBPD, we only have control over two things, our thoughts and feelings. I sugggest to weather the storm, what our pwBPD are going through is not personal to us, it's something that they're going through, in this case the disorder is protecting her ego from anxiety and stress, don't try to add it, seek support and talk about it.