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I know I have several questions on other posts but this one comes from the thought that my wife is probably going to cancel the next mediation which is not until sept 19th. She has told me she has no way of paying her lawyer or mediation fee.

HER: This divorce was your idea and instead of my mom dishing out money like she has during our marriage, (which comes out of MY pocket in the end) you're just gonna have to get (your mom) to dish out money for the divorce. IM A CAREGIVER. That's a job you have no idea how to do. The Lord is taking care of (her son) and me.  That's something I doubt you will have through all of this. And, I don't have to tell you why. I do not have the money for mediation, you'll need to work something out.

ME: You filed it

HER:That doesn't matter, sorry

HER: Like you said, covering my butt.

ME:That is why we need to settle. I am not trying to screw you over

HER:And after the real you came through again a while ago, that just sets me back on track of covering my butt because I was letting my guard down but I won't make that mistake again.


ME:Wait till the real you comes out. All i asked was something simple, come to me with what you want. You had to complicate it

HER:All I was doing was asking questions

HER: You throw fits when things don't go your way. Much like ppl close to you, that explains a lot. To save myself from having to be subjected to that anymore, everything will go through the lawyers. I had no other choice but to go to a lawyer, and my mother LONED The money to me to retain one. I don't have anymore money for attorney fees. How could you not realize that from the start?  ( she got mad that I wouldn't stay for a circular argument and out of frustration as I walked down the deck steps I kicked over a plastic bench)

I am going to try one more time to go to her and ask her what she wants. I told her I will listen and not say a word. Then I would come back the next day with a response.

I am thinking go ahead and just write up an offer and have my lawyer give it to her lawyer. My other thought is if I do that then her lawyer will sit on it and not respond

Not knowing your local laws, which might require at least one mediation session (as in my area), typical business is for lawyers to shoot messages back and forth.  That's usually how the verbage gets entered in the settlements.  If nothing else it shows good faith efforts to settle the matter.  That can be used later to compel the OC to a court date. 
As always though, your lawyer is your employee, make sure they are working!

 Byfaith

 My gut says she is playing games.  Ask your lawyer how fast you can get to trial and have the marriage ended... .vice settled.

My gut says she will not be reasonable... .so why try.  Apply pressure.

What do you think?

FF

Going back and forth through lawyers adds up pretty quick. Mediation is much cheaper. However, I tried mediation once with my ex. It was over the summer schedule with our boys.
We already had a court order that said 50/50. The order did not say exactly how to get 50/50. Ex's proposals (all three) went from 60/40, 65/35, 70/30 ? Mediation went on for about three hours. I finally agreed to what ex was asking in a separate room from ex. I bet the mediator that ex would not agree. The mediator looked puzzled since I was agreeing with exactly what ex was asking. We went into the communal room where ex refused to agree even though I was agreeing to her having 70% and me having 30% ! I had a high degree of confidence that she would not agree. The mediator pointed out that I was agreeing to ex's proposal and she refused to budge.
I stood up, said thank you to the mediator, and said to ex that I would see her in court the next day. The next day ex had a proposal that met the court order of 50/50. It took 15 to 20 minutes to get everything done.
That helped me stop trying to make sense of anything from my ex.

Precisely the type of story that makes me think Byfaith will be settled on the courthouse steps or by a judge.

Byfaith,

You know her better than us.  You've seen her responses to your reasonable offers. 

What do you think?

FF

I forgot to add. Mediation is not binding at any time. If ex said yes to 70/30 I could have immediately said no so I had nothing to lose at that point. I was very confident what ex would do so I just wanted the mediator to see what I already saw.

Oh yeah... .that reminded me of why I don't think By Faith's wife will go through with it.

Let's say there is a good mediation session.  She still has to come back and sign later and it has to be signed by Judge.

Can she really stay in agreement for a couple weeks?

FF

forgive me if I repeat any thing I have already posted

Yes that is what I think. My lawyer has brought a second lawyer into this to aggravate my wife's lawyer. The second lawyer is the one who was going to mediate for us on 6/28. My lawyers think that my wife's attorney will withdraw representation of my wife. My wife is saying she has no money for attorney fees. There is mediation scheduled for 9/19. We are telling them that we are not paying for my wife's attorney fees and we are not paying for her mediation cost, therefore we will probably not mediate. I hope my wife has a change of mind/heart and accepts what I offered her or this will go to court. If I remember what my lawyer told me, November earliest the judge could hear it.

My wife's lawyer will not correspond with my attorney, my atty says he has never seen anything like it since he has been in practice.

In the meantime I am moving out... .will explain this one later.

Ask your lawyer to go ahead and schedule the trial as early as possible so it is on the calendar.

FF

Can you hold on moving until you explain?

Is your attorney ok with your move?

FF