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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Jordan7190 on July 11, 2017, 08:15:20 PM



Title: Constant lying, and now including child in the lies...
Post by: Jordan7190 on July 11, 2017, 08:15:20 PM
Just as back ground; I have a son who's 18 months and a UDBPD wife (undiagnosed because she can't stay with one therapist long enough to get diagnosed - everytime they start narrowing in on helping her discover that she needs to take responsibility, she bolts to a new therapist. She's been through 3? 4? now.) Anyway, I'm in the middle of a custody agreement with (50/50 split - probably accepting the terms this week) and we're in the middle of a divorce.

I've hired a PI and he's been very helpful proving that she is constantly lying about where she's going and who she's with (she's on 5-6 dating websites and is dating at least 3-4 different men.) which, whatever. We're divorcing, and you're not making your son part of your lies, you're just running off and sleeping with other men. That's on you. But, something just came up where she told me she's taking our son on "her time" to watch him - which is 3 days - to visit her cousin in Maryland. I was a little concerned, but not overly concerned since her grandma was going, and she's visited that cousin before. Now, through my mother in law, I found out that she's not really visiting her cousin, because he cousin isn't even in the state - she's camping with her husband. So now I'm significantly more concerned. I'm not sure how to handle this. What would her reason be for taking our son out of state if she's not really visiting family? I've emailed my lawyer for advice too, but even though my lawyer is good - I'm finding that the law does not know how to handle mental health very well. Meaning they're better at reacting instead of being proactive. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do, or what possibly she could be planning?

 


Title: Re: Constant lying, and now including child in the lies...
Post by: takingandsending on July 12, 2017, 12:16:43 PM
Hello, Jordan7190.

Do you think she would try to relocate your son? I would find out about the laws in your state for moving a child across state border. Talk to your L. Specifically find out if you are pre-custody agreement. In my state, it's actually easier for a parent to do this than once the custody agreement is with the courts.

I understand your concern. Generally, I'd advise not to try to figure out your xw's reasoning or why she is doing whatever she does but stick to parallel parenting. But in this case, I'd want some safeguard to make certain she isn't considering relocating.