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Title: moving on... Post by: d2svpcfp on July 13, 2017, 08:36:35 AM None.
Title: Re: moving on... Post by: Lucky Jim on July 13, 2017, 09:39:56 AM Excerpt I wish she could acknowledge her issues so she could begin a journey to a better life. Hey d2, It's unlikely that she will "acknowledge her issues" due to the nature of BPD. Those who suffer from it think along the lines of absolutes, which is also called their black and white thinking. People are either all good or all bad; there is little gray from their viewpoint. To admit her flaws would mean she is all bad, so it's highly unlikely to happen. Instead, the usual pattern is for a pwBPD to shift the blame to the Non, which gets it off his/her plate. LuckyJim Title: Re: moving on... Post by: Mutt on July 13, 2017, 02:04:01 PM Hi d2svpcfp,
*welcome* I'd like to join Lucky Jim and welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm glad that you have found us. Hey d2, It's unlikely that she will "acknowledge her issues" due to the nature of BPD. A pwBPD can't control their behaviors, it's not personal to us, it's something that a pwBPD, that being said a person with a mental illness still has a responsibility to take care of themselves and their mental illness. I think that you made the right choice, you set a boundary and she's not willing to make the necessary changes. No contact is not a weapon, if someone continuously disregards your well being, disrespects you and keeps crossing your boundaries, I think that you're left with no other choice than to self protect, self protection is a buffer to heal and take the time that you need to do so, if you leave it her hands the abuse, distortions, blame shifting, cheating etc... is not going to change. Self protection is also about self care, self compassion, take the compassion that you have for her and others and use some of that for yourself. NC is tough, it sounds like you're committed to exit the r/s if she doesn't respect your boundaries and you need help, that's where we come in, we're here to help. You're not alone. No Contact: The Right Way & The Wrong Way (https://bpdfamily.com/content/no-contact-right-way-wrong-way) |