BPDFamily.com

My son barely can keep a job.  He has damaged, wrecked every vehicle we have gotten him.  He spends every dime he has.  He always has a list of people at his fingertips who will rescue him at any given moment.  He was diagnosed with BPD.  I honestly thought he did not fit the description, because I thought most BPD have some ambition. He was adopted when he was 18 months and says he doesn't have an identity.  So he doesn't have any direction or goals.  I feel alone and isolated.  And beat down.  I may be a rescuer.  But I probably thought I could help.  That was a long time ago.  Now I'm trying to survive and not become embittered. 

I get it - I used to be a classic enabler but I'm learning to stop. It's soo hard to not help our kids but they only way they will ever learn is to figure it out for themselves. My daughter talks a good game about ambition but she has none. She failed her first year at community college and is now on academic probation and can't register again until she completes an online something or other. She's lying to me several times about going in to meet with a counselor. Her latest thing is looking to rent and apartment or a house with two friends - she has crappy credit, works very part time at a minimum wage job so I have no clue how she's going to afford it - we won't be giving her a cent or co-signing anything for her and she knows it. She doesn't drive - thank goodness. She's 18 1/2 and has no clue how to survive in the real world and for whatever reason blames it on me. In her fantasy world I should get her set up in an apartment so she can have the experience of living on her own - although I keep telling her that's not real life and even if I had the money I wouldn't give it to her. Hang in there - it's normal to want to rescue your kid but we aren't doing them any favors by enabling them. They aren't BPD because we haven't loved them enough.

Hi mamaloca

How old is your son?

Hugs

LP