BPDFamily.com

Does anyone have an ex that is not locatable? How the heck do you change a court order if you don't have an address to serve the ex at? It is just ridiculous to be held to an order that says joint legal decision making, except sole medical, when the ex hasn't been heard from in a year and a half and doesn't even have an address on file anywhere. I can't get a passport for D to take a vacation, I can't enroll her in private preschool, ughhh.

You can put an ad in the paper if you have a rough idea where he is... .it is an attempt. Also document text or emailing the copies. Send them to his job with a courier. Just a few thoughts.

Have you gotten any guidance on this from your L or from the court? (I'd guess the clerk of the court would be the office to check with.) I'm sure this has happened to other people and there's a way to handle it.

He doesn't have a job. Child Support Services have emailed me that they cannot even hold him accountable for not paying support unless they have a verifiable address to serve him at. Apparently they cannot do anything, like revoke his license, unless they have served him with the intent to do so first. He moved out of his address on file 13 months ago and has never updated it with the court or child support services or me for that matter. We haven't spoken in a year and a half. I know he is in this area since I do see him like in passing, traffic, comes into my job once in a while, etc. The thing is that he couch surfs. He doesn't really have any address, he just hangs with different friends and rotates. The clerk at court said they won't even accept any motion from me to modify anything unless they have a verifiable address that a sheriff can serve him at. It is ridiculous. I know he had to register his vehicle last month since it was his birthday. I asked child support services if they can check with the DMV since he had to put some address down to register his vehicle. No response yet. I have sent him mail at his last known address which of course was returned to me. I also have the emails from child support services. I can prove I don't have an address for him but the court won't let me go forward with anything.

Hmm. What if you filed a missing persons report?

I am pretty sure it would not go so well for me to file a missing persons report on someone who I do see in passing in town. I think there must be a lot of co-parents who are classified as homeless, so how do you move forward with anything if you can't serve them. At this point he is behind 9k in child support also, but DCCS won't do anything unless they can serve him with their intent to do something first.

It's baffling to me. Do you have a lawyer? Maybe asking for an ex parte order? That won't get you the money, but you can perhaps get full legal custody to break up the decision-making roadblock?

Oh brother! This may be what I have to look forward to.  I would keep at it. I would think the DMV would be the perfect place to find him. If the truck is in his name. At least it is building up on record. If he ever has any money, tax refunds or such, they will go to you. Look at the length he is going to in order to not pay. Imagine living like that. It is pathetic. Not sure if a lawyer could do much more than you... .maybe you could get some free counsel for advice. Actually, in my state you can put an ad in the paper in his town and that covers it. You can call the paper and find out what section that goes in, but that may work! They don't care whether or not he reads the paper-if it is announced, it counts! See if you can do that by you... .good luck! Let us know what happens.

You don't have to tell anyone that you have seen him in passing.
You haven't received any support, the courts don't have an address and neither do you. You have returned mail from the last known address. He hasn't seen or contacted the kids.