BPDFamily.com

 In the saga of BPD half truths and phrases... my BPD/ anxiety disorder person... who acted out yesterday evening at her aunts... my aunt told her that she wa snot able to send the children clothes for school, because she is too busy with her own life and her ailing mother. That aunt got no response and so she blocked her.

The other aunt. Received a message from the- "she was told by someone that the rumors of her children being unhappy are not true. My kids are actually really very happy! " so everyone can breathe easier  and relax about what I'm doing to my kids. " I want people to leave me alone. 

So that aunt granted that, and stated you get wish for, be careful of what you asked for. She then blocked on Facebook as well... as well the live in boyfriend she has...

this Aunt has always been the go to for her, the loving one... the one whom actually wanted to her raise as her own child.

This happened last night... I didn't get attacked... and no changes on my end...

So, I see this as the kids are " my kids are unhappy" - a projection -she attacked the only people gauging her children and talking to the kids and her...    it could have come from anyone here, but I believe that attack would be directly at me. The adverbs are falsehood of the actual statement she made...

So is there other weirdly worded phrases that there pwBPD or PD use?


That has similar double adverbs which contradict the sentence... just curious... by the way I saw my T -- she states this is right on the money... all indications are the unhappiness of the kids is/ are getting worse... ( it was told by the aunt by the child in her birthday, she doesn't want her mom to send her brother to TX, because she loves him and would miss him... ) that's a pretty screwed up sentence from a 9yr old...  

I'm sorry but I'm having difficulty understanding what was said that sounds like an odd phrase. Could you explain more please?

I have never heard of anything saying that pwBPD use words incorrectly or not. I would guess that poor sentence syntax has to do with language that was heard in the home growing up unless there is some other factor that causes sentences to become confused.

That's just it... it was the weirdest phrase. I wrote it verbatim.

"Actually" and "really"  are the same adverb and "very"is another... my therapist looked at me like I was wearing a red nose. He wrote it down... he said they are used as designation of emphasis... she is trying hard to convince everyone by over emphasis. Normal non pd- would  not attack after loss of clothes kid... and she used this... a non pd he said might say " the children are doing fine, or are well, or disappointed ... but not over the top... he believes based on what we are seeing as video of the kids she is stressed and reacted emotionally because she know they are right...

He states that her comment is false statement, a projection.  To use all words cancels them out and she is angry and lashing out about her kids being unhappy... the aunts are asking the questions and the kids have and are voicing either verbally or physically the displeasure of their situation.   

I used to do interviews for living... I was top of my job, and goto guy. When questioning use of -ly adverbs used in context of defensive actions... indicate deceptions... there is more to syntax and context... but as soon as I heard it I went BULLL $$$$

That many -ly may indicate her thrusting in their face her projections hoping to make it true, to get agreement. It won't come and I believe they may have called her a bad mom... not sure.

It sucks. But that tie has been cut, and it likely won't come back unless they allow it... they are done with her. They set that boundary.  My aunt loves her... but she said after all these years this was it...

 

It's poor grammar, but I wouldn't read too much into it. I think the sentence was intended to say: "My children, to the contrary (actually), are very (really), very happy."

I'm having a hard time following the sequence or events and the players... .can you restate what happened?

My wife uses superlatives and over emphasis so much that it completely swamps the meaning of whatever she is trying convey. Its like overselling to the point of making the listener insensible to what is being said, the message getting completely lost. Sometimes I think she actually looses context of the tale as the overselling of the feeling takes over.

Hence to examine it grammatically shows it up as pure nonsense. In reality the issue is secondary, with the way it makes her feel being the main point. I think in your case it is being projected via the kids.

Her family has been in contact with her, (all terse and attack conv);

kids, all videos, and pictures, and the kids themselves have been remarking how unhappy, and they they want to come home. Mom was listening while on speaker phone... she does this to patrol what is said...

However --Mom is threatening abandoning a child... (acting out because of circumstances beyond his control.) One of the kids said no less than that...  

Anyway--She was told at some point they (family) might help with school clothes.

But they have since decided to not encourage this episode of running away and placing me in black. No help whatsoever...   They don't like this at all. We know it is a disorder... .

She then upon that news attacked  the aunt whom she was having  direct contact... When she did not get what she wanted (clothes)... --expecting everyone to take care of them, she got mad and projected the lies back at the Aunts... (the kids are NOT happy... if you saw all the pictures and video it would be crystal clear.)

It set a tone I have not seen in the family... they are done, fed up... aunts and uncles are stating the obvious-kids are unhappy, how dare you you do this to them, abusing us and everyone else is not going to get anything.



---I may have read more into the phrase, but is bad grammar and overemphasis of a projection she wants people to agree with...

Following day-- she then got mad and attacked other family members passive aggressively, they didn't even now what was going on, and then she smear campaigned them. Saying that side of the family is no good and does not love her or kids and never have done anything for her... { total crock of ****} in actuality her dad side never done a damn thing, booted her out of their lives... her dad then attacked her...

In a nutshell. It's projection.