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Title: What causes BPD's to dissociate? Post by: Mavrik on July 21, 2017, 05:59:15 PM When I was with my ex gf who was BPD if I ever received a text she would think it was from another woman, or if I said something that was a normal comment, depending on her situation, she would regularly go into dissociate mode.
Whatever I said or did after that would be a waste of time, and I may as well have written the rest of the day off as no way could I get her out of this zone she'd go into. Anyone else ever experienced anything similar? We're you able to get her out of it? And most importantly what is this and why do they do it? Title: Re: What causes BPD's to dissociate? Post by: roberto516 on July 21, 2017, 07:44:11 PM I can't speak for my ex as she would just shut down and either go to sleep or quick try and make light of the situation. I know I would get real into my head and shut down if I was upset but it was because I knew if I tried speaking to her she'd get defensive. So for me it was emotions that I couldn't process verbally. But I was feeling them.
Dissociation is a protecton thing. Think about being a child and having to deal with real adult emotions with no caretaker to guide you through it. Child can't process that stuff. So they shut down. It works and it's fast and it's safe as a coping skill. Just my two cents. Title: Re: What causes BPD's to dissociate? Post by: Turkish on July 21, 2017, 11:11:03 PM We have a discussion about Dissociation. Perhaps it can help:
BPD BEHAVIORS: Dissociation and Dysphoria (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=68392.0;all) I experienced my ex dissociating before she moved out. At one point, she asked me, "what is reality?" It was shocking. Take a look at the discussion and tell us what you think. Title: Re: What causes BPD's to dissociate? Post by: once removed on July 22, 2017, 09:40:32 AM When I was with my ex gf who was BPD if I ever received a text she would think it was from another woman, or if I said something that was a normal comment, depending on her situation, she would regularly go into dissociate mode. i think youre talking about dysregulating (emotions) as opposed to dissociation. people with BPD traits have an above average fear of abandonment, which often manifests in jealousy. while it might be natural to have a tinge of jealousy watching your partner interact with whatever sex they are attracted to, that tinge of jealousy becomes an emotion in search of a reason (we often say around here "feelings = fact". people with BPD traits also have a higher than average sensitivity to criticism or perceived slights. innocent comments (or not) can often be felt, and blown out of proportion. Title: Re: What causes BPD's to dissociate? Post by: Mavrik on July 22, 2017, 04:49:01 PM Thanks
So the shut down and zoning out into their safe zone is their way of coping with what they perceive as hurtful/painful/ difficult to deal with, have I got that right My ex seemed to go into this place and stay there, no idea how long they can stay there for. Then the next day she'd message me as if nothing had happened? |