BPDFamily.com

I'm not sure whether this is the right site for asking for help with expressing thoughts and feelings. I have deliberated over it for a while and have come to this conclusion:
The 'old' me would have said, "no, don't post that, it's not relevant", but the emerging 'new' me is saying "go ahead, do it, if it's not relevant so what, it's not the end of the world "

So here goes:
When I posted my first post on here it took a lot of courage as it's not the sort of thing that I would normally do. I struggle to write down my thoughts and feelings and to verbalise them too. Quite often my mind will just go blank or I lose my train of thought which can make communication difficult.

I'm just wondering if there are any tips out there to help with expressing thoughts and feelings or should I just accept my limitations?

I have also thought whether it might just get easier the more posts I write x

Hi feeling better

It's scary at first, posting that is!

I can't tell you how many times I've spent ages writing a post then only to discard it.  Or pausing before pressing the send button, inhaling breath!

This is a safe place.

I got back to basics when I first started.

I feel xxxx
Because xxxx
I need xxxxx

I feel sad. [phase 1]

I feel sad because you didn't listen to me. [Phase 2]

I need you to listen to me so you can understand my problem. [phase 3]

I practised all the time at first. It was quite amazing how simple it really is but very empowering.

I feel happy Feeling Better because you're posting and asking such great questions. I hope that I am helping.

   :)

LP





 

Hi Feeling Better.

 I too have trouble expressing thoughts especially verbally. It's worse when it's an emotional topic. My counselor says I go around and around all over the place before I get to the point. I actually felt rather hurt by this. Oh well, that's she gets paid the big bucks for. :)

So I know the frustration. I too feel nervous in posting wondering if I make any sense at all. However, I must say on reading your posts here on this site, I think you express yourself beautifully.

Sometimes I think we are too hard on ourselves. Emotional stuff is hard to articulate. I love reading your posts. Please continue to share.

Blessings.

Hi Lollypop

Thank you for sharing with me your experiences with posting and how you went about it, it made me smile reading that you also have on occasion spent ages writing a post only to discard it. I guess it just goes to show that we are all human after all.

I will definitely use the tips you have given me in future posts, thank you.

Yes, you are helping me, you offer such encouragement and I trust the words that you write, you have great insight.

As a final thought I would like to add that I hope that by reading these posts it might encourage other people out there, who like me wouldn't normally do this kind of thing, to take that first brave step. It is well worth the effort x

Hi Grievingmom

Well, your post got me all emotional. Thank you so much for your kind comments and encouragement.

I have to agree with you, having to express your feelings verbally is the worst thing ever. At one point a while back my son went with me for relationship counselling in an attempt to rebuild our relationship. My son was very good at articulating his feelings but when it came to my turn to speak I started ok but quickly 'dried up'. The counsellor used to step in and help me out by saying what she thought I wanted to say and I would nod in agreement or tell her otherwise. It worked ok but it didn't really help me as such.

Hey, your postings are great, listen to your own words "Sometimes I think we are too hard on ourselves". Yes we are and we need to give ourselves a break. It doesn't really matter how we get there as long as we get there in the end.

So keep posting and I'll keep posting too and we will both improve our writing skills so that we can easily express our thoughts and feelings, I'm sure it will get easier the more we do. I hope so anyway x