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Hi, I am 1st Twin and my twin sister has borderline personality disorder. She is an alcoholic also and has emotional abused me for years! I am seeing a counselor to help me thru the pain of her abuse towards me, and 9 days ago she emotionally abused me again and I decided to stop having contact with her till she gets sober and seeks counseling for her borderline personality disorder   In the mail today, I received a letter from her without her forwarding address, and my counselor and my husband told me if I should get any correspondence from her to write, "return to sender" and send it back to her. My husband texted her9days ago after this last abuse of me from her and asked her to have no contact with me! I am just needing some support from fellow members! Thank you!

Hi 1st Twin

Thanks for introducing yourself and welcome to our online community

Being the subject of abuse is never easy. It is very sad that your sister behaves this way and has these serious issues.

You mention that she has emotionally abused you for years. I am very sorry you've had these negatives experiences with her. In what ways is she emotionally abusive?

It's great though that you have the support of a counselor to help you deal with all of this.

Nine days before you posted, you decided to stop having contact with your sister because she was emotionally abusive again. What did she do exactly?

Did your sister respond to your husband's text asking her to have no contact with you?

Take care

The Board Parrot

Hi Kwamina! Thank you for responding back to me!My sister has been very verbally abusive to me, saying mean thing about my character and it is usually when she doesn't agree withme.Something we're discussing. I seem to push her buttons and it seems like I walk on eggshells around her because I don,t wAnt her wrath to fall on me! She did not respond to my husband's request to not contact me. We had had the last discussion 9 days ago, I was very upset on how she responded to me about what I said to her and yesterday sent her an apology via email and asked if we could just have a truce and love each other from afar as she lives about 300 miles from me. I also told her in the email, that God humbled mevery much yesterday and that I was sorry for judging her husband as this was part of our discussion 9 days ago and I told her I wasn't very good at portraying that God is love and not to look up to me spiritually as I still struggle knowing that God loves me! She textedme this morning that God told her we should be at a truce and that she will always love me no matter what! She hasn't apologized to me for her verbal abuse and I guess I'll have to live with that! Life is sure not easy at times! I'm sad that she doesn't want to apologize for her verbal abuse of me, but what can I do? Concentrate on the fact that Jesus loves me and my husband and wonderful kids and grandkids and sweet friends.

It is so interesting to read another story and seeing the parallel in our lives.  I am sorry you are going through the heartache of having your twin sis, the closest person to you ever, have BPD.  I have twin myself, and I understand the bond.  I also have a much older sister whom systematically verbally abused, taunted and teased me my entire childhood.  I recently read the sibling bond, when it is shattered can be more detrimental than when our parents are the abusers.  We expect our siblings to stand with us, not against us.  Especially, when the abusive sibling is much older and knows better.  I am afraid it is common with BPD to expect all sorts "crazy" behavior when we disagree, don't do the thing they want us too, believe their beliefs etc.  I promise I have health with all that and more.  One of the hallmarks of BPD/NPD is they don't feel they are ever wrong, thus the "non apology".  They won't say I am sorry I verbally abused you, they will say I am sorry you got upset... .non apology... .I learned LC or NC is the only thing I can do for my own sanity, my sister is so mean and does not play fair.  You will need to decide what path is best for you.  You can always go "gray rock" with her.  this is very effective.  Good luck!

Thank you Pina Colada for your insight about my twin sister and her being BPD· I am so sorry that you have dealt with the similar issues with your older sister. My sister did ask me to forgive her yesterday, but only after I confessed what I did wrong and then it was several days later and she did not say or confess to what she did wrong. She said in an email she was hoping to get into a women's rehab house next week that deals with alcoholism and depression. I pray that she gets into the rehab and also works on her having BPD and really starts working on that, but know that she may resist being typed as having BPD, as she has before!  At this point I am having very LC with her. Thanks again Pina Colada, I don,t feel as much alone in my situation as I did!

Hi again.  I reread my post and I wanted to clarify I HAVE twin daughters, I am not a twin.  That is how I understand the bond.  My twins are fine it is my older sister.  I am glad she reached out to you.  If you want peace going LC or grey rock helps without being completely out of touch.  It is common for BPD to have other addictions.  My sister takes many, strong prescription drugs.  She will tell you she never drinks or does drugs but one can become addicted to prescription drugs too.  She had a very bad car crash about a year ago, while on her meds, is lucky she didn't kill herself or anyone else.  Anyway stay in touch here and keep posting.  Good luck!