BPDFamily.com

I just feel hopeless. My ex guy, I believe has BPD. I can't go on. It has been 6 months since break up. But for some reason it has just hit me hard now. I guess I figured he'd back by now Like usual. I'm a mess. Please help me.

My heart goes out to you.  It's hard.  Which is worse though, the yoyo affect where they keep coming back and then leaving again?  Or just trying to find a way to accept that it's really over?  I find the first.  I'm currently in the stage of accepting that it might truly be over this time.  I'm emotionally and mentally preparing myself for this to be the final breaking point.  Then deep down... I feel he's bluffing... again.  Only this time, my reactions to his threats of leaving and trying to kick me out were not how I've handled the situation before.  It crushes me when I am preparing for the loss and trying last ditch efforts to salvage the relationship when he is too stubborn to give any sort of leeway or accept that he played half fault in the impending break up.  He would rather blame everything on me and say that this whole thing is my fault because I'm a liar.

The biggest thing I keep reading about is healthy boundaries.  Hard as hell and they were right... the initial reaction set off a bomb.  I took a deep breath, reiterated that I would appreciate if he not interrupt me while I was talking and started again.  I repeated this until I got everything out I wanted to say.  His reaction... didn't take it so well.  Threw everything but the kitchen sink at me and attempted to demand that he will talk to me however he wants... not happening anymore.

I am envious of people that have loving caring relationships.  That's how mine started off.  I ignored the red flags because I believed that I was the one person that could see past the bad and show him that he deserves to be loved.  He does.  He's human.  But he needs help.  He hasn't made any attempts to help himself because he is too focused on external triggers and my attempts on trying to do better by him and to be patient  have ended in a fit of rage.  If he treats/talks to you like dog ___ on his boots, he doesn't deserve you.  Stay strong, know you deserve the kind of love back that your willing to put out.

Just stay strong. Have you tried reaching out to him? Six months is a long time. Lots of time for healing. Maybe he wants to hear from you.

Im going through the same thing, but its only been a few days. Im waiting for him to come back, but this time was different... .he went on vacation with his family to see his sister in LA, and said he isnt coming back.

All I can do is give him his space. When he WANTS to come back, he will. I cant force it right now. He hasnt had enough time yet.

Keep your head up, keep talking. Keep posting!

This place is helping me alot.