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Hi all,

I'm alone today and starting to get depressive thoughts again and so I was wondering what kinds of things have been beneficial to any of you to occupy the mind and avoid falling back into depression?

Hi stuck118,

Sorry you are feeling depressed! I have tried lots of things but here are a few of the winners:

1. Running/exercising helps me alot as it decreases my energy and I sleep better. It also forces me to eat which is a good thing. If your not up for a run, long walks are also great.
2. I usually allow myself to think about the negative thoughts for a certain period of time. I think it's healthy to allow yourself to feel all your thoughts instead of trying to avoid them completely, although there is a balance.
3. I became more of a clean freak after my breakup - a nice side effect I might add - and no matter how crappy I felt scrubbing the floor cleaning the kitchen or organizing my place at least made me feel my home was for me only and a safe and protected place.

I am sure others have lots of suggestions so I'll let someone else chime in!

marti

Hi stuck,

I read in one of my BPD books about coping with dysregulation and learned that to counteract sadness/depression the best thing is to do the opposite of what your body is telling you to do.  So to get physically active somehow.  I got myself in the gym and I work out like crazy.  Housework is not a love of mine, however I can lose myself in that if I stick some loud music on and get focused on what I'm doing.  To be fair as a bit of a mindfulness nut I find that getting truly involved in whatever I'm doing helps me to be in the present and less able to get stuck on thoughts that are unhelpful to me.  So it might just be really concentrating on making a coffee and doing nothing else at the same time, including thinking non stop.  Just paying full attention to what it is you are doing.  Being in the moment.  It breaks the flow of thoughts rushing in and allows you to reset your brain a bit. 

If it's something immediate you're after and going to the gym is out of the question, getting outside, whether to just nip to the shop or go for a wander is good, as it gets your muscles moving and you can look around, really use your senses, take in the sounds sights smells etc.  Again, this can help to shake off some of the cyclic thinking.  Fresh air is good (if you can get it - I'm in a city!) and to move in any way you can.

More broadly, I have found that doing things I had to drop due to the r/s has been very fulfilling and empowering for me.  I've also taken up new things I might not have considered trying before.  I'm doing an art class now as part of my therapy and it is wonderful as during the 2 hours I'm there I am focused entirely on what I'm doing and the calm I feel when I leave is remarkable.  I don't spend any time on my worries and stresses whilst I'm so engrossed and this break from all that's going on in my life gives me a peace I wouldn't otherwise achieve.  Back to the same theme - being present and focused on the doing of something.  What could you throw yourself into that would get you thoroughly involved in the doing of it?  Doesn't have to be exciting.  Mundane things can work if we engage with them fully.
 
Is there anything you've always wanted to do but never gotten around to?  Now might be a good time to set something in action that you can look forward to and have enthusiasm for.   

Don't forget you can always make a call if it is better to talk it out.  And we'll be here for you if that works too.

Love and light x

Hi Stuck,

Sorry to hear that you're having some bad moments ... .but I'm happy that you are asking for some ideas & help  |iiii

Both Harley Quinn & marti are giving you some really great advice !  I would echo what they're telling like exercise, the fresh air ... .walking, running, swimming, hiking, going to the gym. All great ways to burn off some stress and burn off some empty calories. !  Like Harley I cranked the music during some house cleaning yesterday.

And Harley has some good ideas with doing something you've never done before.  Get a list of concerts in your area that you might want to go too with a couple of friends. Maybe go to a comedy club with a couple of those friends. Humor & laughter heal the mind body and soul. Maybe a day trip or weekend trip.

Call up an old friend that maybe you haven't talked to in some time ... .catch up see how they're doing ... .take the time to really enjoy the small things in life like nature ... .

Make a list of places you would like to go either on a day trip or a vacation ... .hot air ballooning, car race, a professional sport game i.e. soccer, football, baseball, etc, wine country, hiking, camping, concerts, movies, dinner, star gazing, volunteer anywhere like a pet shelter or a Veterans center,

make a list of things to do around the house, yard improvements, wash & detail your car inside & out, painting new colors in your place, replace your lightbulbs with LEDs, update your cloths/shoes, get a new hairstyle, make a plan to get in better shape, get a medical check up, go to the dentist, clean your windows ... .listen to some good music while you do some of those things.

Watch the sun come up ... .with a beverage ... .

Watch the sun go down ... .with a beverage ... .

Let us know how your doing ... .come back as often as you want too ... .let us know what you're doing and what works better for you and what didn't and why ... .let others learn from you experience.

Have a great day~!

J