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Title: Not Sure Post by: Verinoca on August 02, 2017, 11:28:12 AM So my bf has BPD. I am very familiar with the disorder as my mom and brother both have it as well.
He has a perceived problem with one of my ex boyfriends, he doesn't know him, he knows of him. Anyway, long story short, every time he goes into a hypomanic state, he breaks up with me over this guy... .the relationship with my ex was literally 20 years ago. My bf moved to Texas where he is from on Saturday and had asked me to move there with him. We have been making plans to live together, I am looking for jobs etc... .(I am moving whether or not we stay together as I have wanted to live in Tx for a long time). Anyway, things have been going pretty good even though he has been triggered here and there with the stress of the move, but this morning he texted me at 5 a.m. telling me he can't be with me because of my ex (I call him the ghost). I thought he was in a hypo manic episode but he usually has a clear pattern and is super hateful to me and texts or calls me several times until he gets through it. He called me, wasn't as mean as usual, said it's over and has gone pretty much silent at this point. I don't know what to think. Any advice would help. I love him, I understand him but I'm not sure if this break up is real or a delusional episode. Title: Re: Not Sure Post by: cc2203 on August 02, 2017, 11:49:15 AM I thought he was in a hypo manic episode but he usually has a clear pattern and is super hateful to me and texts or calls me several times until he gets through it. He called me, wasn't as mean as usual, said it's over and has gone pretty much silent at this point. I don't know what to think. Any advice would help. I love him, I understand him but I'm not sure if this break up is real or a delusional episode. I am in almost the exact situation as you. My fiance went on vacation with his family to his Sisters home in LA. A few days after he got there, he called me and broke up with me because he says he cant live like this with me controlling him and he just isnt happy anymore. He does this all the time. So I assumed it was just another normal episode. But this time it feels like either the real thing or a much stronger episode thank ever before... Im just giving him as much time as he needs, but im starting to focus on my self. The people on here have helped me so much, and are always listening. Im not one to give any advice as I dont quite know what im doing myself, but If i had any to give, it would be allow him his space. Show him that you are fine without him. Dont let him control you so that you feel as if you NEED him. This will allow him to own the situation. Once he is ready to Own the relationship, he will come back to it. (atleast thats what im telling myself about my situation.) I wish you the best, and Im here for you! Ill be following the thread. (: Title: Re: Not Sure Post by: once removed on August 02, 2017, 12:12:57 PM hi Verinoca and *welcome*
being with a jealous partner can be really tough, i struggled with it immensely. as you get acquainted with the site, you will find we have lots of resources that can help make things easier on you. i found this workshop on dealing with a jealous partner especially useful: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=78324.0 how long have the two of you been together? |