BPDFamily.com

The four months of forced NC with the temp RO's
Watching him walk across the street from my house
The betrayal from my attorney
Three court dates
Not being allowed to get my mail
Detective
Cops
Counciling
PTSD
Nightmares about my x
Keeping to myself
Going out for pizza at what was to become my lifesaver although I didn't know it at the time
Finding this Board and all the supportive people I can't thank you enough.
The person I spoke to a few days ago that was so beyond helpful in getting me closure



My x is now unmasked... I see him for the mentally ill person he is, what he kept hidden for years, very well I might add. I believe I'm painted black as are most people in his life.   I won't stoop to his level though and become petty as last weekend my real healing began ... I will be professional in all interactions.
I no longer want him back, it would never work, he isn't who I thought he was.
He is the person he warned me about .  It's not normal to behave as he is... I never see him talk or hear him laugh. 

Many years ago I had broken up with a guy who was an alcoholic... .he hung up on me one night while drunk and I never heated again, until his housemate called and told me he had a bad fall.  Only a month had passed... He remained in a coma for many months ... .inwent to visit him a few times... he never woke up.
What people who knew both of us said... you had to save yourself he was literally killing unalong with him... .another said he regretted ever setting us up. 

There are similarities with that x and my current x... .me trying to save him ... .and as I've sat down tonite and thought on it... .I think somehow my subconscious fears that will happen with this recent x as well.    However , I have done all I could this time... everyone knows my x is failing... .I can't go down with the ship.
I must save myself   And just look on from a distance .  I got too close and I know too much

Hey idsrvt2, No, you can't go down that path with him.  At the end of the day, you're not responsible for the well being of another adult.  Put yourself first, is my suggestion.  Yes, your life is your responsibility and you have to do what's right for you.  Hang in there, LJ

Thank you for the support... .my one wish for this situation is for his boss and supervisor to just let thungs be... .stop making me relive this by trying to avoid contact... .because I'm still quite angry at the manner I which his boss tried to intercept my mail and if it weren't for my x and I having a brief convo last week ... my mail would not have been picked up.

I feel like his boss has traits similar to my x... have to walk on eggshells and always praise if you point out facts your referred to as nasty.
I'm struggling this weekend a bit ... I even had to forgo scheduling a pickup ... .because they would intercept it.
I don't think my x is behind it as I asked the boss if my x has issues with getting my mail and he said no... .

This is just insane and I can't discuss with any of them ... .so it's just me and my x left to figure it out... .and he's not really talking to me... .seems very mentally ill or on medications

It's a terrible feeling to not be able to communicate with his management... .when they are the ones causing all of this turmoil.  And if my x is that bad they need to put him on desk duty... .